Make Me Feel Good
by CherishMimi
Summary: She needed Tori to help her understand why her words made her feel so good. Jori.
1. Make Me Feel Good

_Make Me Feel Good_

**A/N: I don't why, but I just needed something to clear my head with while I developed my glee stories. You could say I envisioned this as a one-shot…I guess I did. I don't know depending on how the feedback goes I may add more. I just had to get all of this off of my chest. Lol. I've been reading this fandom for a while now, because I love the show. And even more, I love the concept of "Jori". It just makes sense, as all great lesbian fandoms do. The whole bad girl/good girl affect is insanely intriguing, to me at least. **

**After the episode where Jade and Beck broke up, I decided that now was my chance to strike, lol. I had the perfect idea.**

**Vulnerable Jade.**

**I love the way Elizabeth Gillies plays the role of Jade and I enjoy how the character's appearance and characterization plays out with anger and then also, a bit of a damaged soul. **

**And then, the most recent new episode of the Jori, "fake date". **

**That was pure gold, I couldn't believe Nickelodeon had so much lesbian subtext in one episode, not to mention that gorgeously hot song they sang together. **

**It was perfect. **

**So, I hope you guys enjoy this, we'll see how this goes. I have been on a writing rampage starting all these stories. **

**BTW: This is named from a line in Madonna's song, "Cherish". It's a beautiful song!**

**Disclaimer: Nah, because then there would be lesbians, and nickelodeon just can't handle me and my **_**lesbians**_**.**

Make Me Feel Good

"_You are pretty." _

The words clouded her mind like thick fog in the early throes of the morning time.

They swiveled up and wrapped around her senses and took over her brain cells like slithering arms of truth, capturing her attention and forcing her to replay them over and over again.

It was all she could see as she drove from the sushi bar, it was all she could hear. The look on the girl's face as she admitted that she considered the angry raven haired girl pretty, it was a look of absolute apprehension, almost as if she wished she hadn't have let the girl know that she thought of her as attractive.

It was a look that Jade would forever question, it joined the words on the quest of confusion going on inside her always complicated head.

She was trying to break things apart, and understand them more clearly, because a lot of things weren't making sense to her at all. She was finding herself in a state of bewilderment, and quite frankly it was starting to piss her off a little bit.

Jade felt good.

That wasn't something that happened very often.

She hadn't felt good since she started dating Beck, and even then it was a slim chance that she was just reeking of pure happiness. Towards the end her patience thinned and she found herself unusually over the idea of him, she didn't know why it got so complicated, it just did. She wasted no time trying to figure it out.

But she missed him as something that made her feel a little better about herself.

That break up had left her feeling even worse than before, and she had been hurt but hurt Jade was nothing different form normal Jade because when had there ever been a real time that she felt, good?

Never up until now.

And that was something was truly puzzling her beyond belief.

Because entering the sushi bar she had felt herself become angry and irritated instantly with the idea that she would have to spend her evening chumming it up with the one person she could not stand above any and all other things.

And then, she started to realize that she was having a decent time, talking to her…the girl with the auburn locks and the optimistic personality and the prettiest voice she'd ever subjected her ears to hearing.

Then, those words tumbled from her lips, and that's when things got confusing.

She felt herself become lighter, she allowed herself to be lifted in this cocoon of absolute and total bliss because of the words of the girl, who immediately blushed at her confession and turned to busy herself.

The obnoxious boys had been a distraction to Jade because she had been on the verge of asking this girl, this girl who managed to alter her entire emotional rollercoaster, when she had decided that she considered her attractive…and why did it make her feel so good?

Why was she feeling as if it was the first time anyone had ever complimented her on anything? She felt like she was a little girl all over again, twirling in her father's arms and feeling her white sundress lift and move along with her as he told her how beautiful she was, how pretty she was.

It had been a long time since anyone called her pretty.

She meant it when she said the tan girl was, she had absolutely no idea where she gathered the sense to even give the girl that she hate the satisfaction of knowing that she considered her good-looking, but the night turned decent, and she found a compliment hiding in the deep twisted ridges of her bitter soul.

She didn't know the outcome was going to be the absolutely unstable numbness that was creeping up her body and taking control as she attempted to drive home.

She allowed her pale fingers to grip the steering wheel.

What was wrong with her? When did she even start to feel again? These are things that she just doesn't understand, things that are blinding her from her usual bitchy persona, she can't pull herself together because she is at a complete era of astonishment and frustration.

They were words, just words and suddenly an entirely different affect that she didn't even know was plausibly possible was taking her over and spinning her brightly like a wheel of some sort. And it was turning her fast, she couldn't even keep up. Her body was trying to catch up with her mind and it was driving her crazy.

When did words become important?

These were questions that burned beneath her blue eyes as she drove, knowingly driving at a fast speed, and racing against whatever subconscious time clock was ticking within her. It was all so very maddening. She was speeding towards an answer though, she had to be. She had to be close, because she had to find whatever lay beneath the tone in those words and identify why they made her feel so fucking good.

She blinked slowly, hearing the sound of them again in her ears, filling her up like a glass of water. And she had never indeed felt so full, of life…she just felt absolutely solid. Nice.

It stung wetness in her eyes, the feeling of happiness, of goodness.

She actually thought back and realized contrary to her belief, she never remembered feeling like this. Ever.

Not with Beck, sure she was happy at one point…but it never felt this good. It never brought a smile to her face, a real one. It never made her want to sing those crappy ass love songs and dance around her room in her underwear, or lie in her bathtub and just soak in how wonderful she felt.

Yet, three words…ignited those things inside of her as if they had been locked away waiting for someone to key in and relieve them for a very long time.

Jade was almost positive that they had been locked away.

But somehow, Tori Vega popped that lock as if she was a professional criminal when it came to invoking feelings of happiness, and Jade just couldn't figure out how that happened, nor if she was even able to handle it all.

She just knew it felt really good.

She allowed herself a breath of pure contentment as she drove and she briefly wondered where her car was taking her, because she had not clued in on any particular direction or destination.

She was going…she never just drove, but tonight she was.

She kept wondering.

The words looped like a soundtrack on repeat inside of her brain and she dwelled on what exactly transpired between her and the person, the girl she had only stated her hatred for mere minutes before those defining words were spoken.

"_You are pretty."_

She spoke as if she was confirming it, she had complete sincerity so she was telling the truth…Jade couldn't get the honest look of the brown eyes from her eyes if she tried to. She kept seeing them, staring at her trying to silently convince her of how authentic her words were.

Jade needed answers, she needed to understand what was so important about Tori, what was special about her that caused her to feel so different inside.

She wouldn't be able to tell you later how she ended up parked in the Vega driveway, or why there were soft tears in her eyes as she rang the doorbell that had nothing to do with the quick winds that were blowing throughout the weather.

She wouldn't be able to tell you why when the door opened to reveal the very girl that started these feelings of happiness, she felt her breath hitch in her throat and heartbeat quicken.

It had done it earlier that night, and a lot of other times, but she credited it to immense dislike.

How stupid was she?

It all made sense now.

They stood, looking at one another, a longing that was otherwise unidentifiable hiding within their intense stares. Tori was donning her glasses and her mouth was gaped open as if she had something to say, but it seemed the sight of Jade quite literally, struck her silent.

Jade just searched, searched for the confirmation that she knew she'd find if she just kept looking at her, searching her.

They locked gazes so intensely, and she wondered if Tori understood why she was there, why she was standing aimlessly with her car keys in her hand at twelve thirty four exactly after spending an evening with her.

She didn't even know if she understood.

"Jade, I –"

"You," she breathed, her voice practically a whisper as she raised her hand to grab the curled locks of hair, looking around as if the words would fall out of the sky, biting her plush bottom lip, she looked at the girl with further clouded eyes, "You called me…pretty, and I know I said it first but, you meant it?" Jade questioned, eyebrows furrowing, wondering.

The girl reached nervously to pull her oversized sweatshirt over her shoulder from where it slipped down and Jade watched the skin disappear.

"Yes, yeah…I meant it. Is there something wrong?" She said, nervousness peeking straight forward from her words and Jade moved her hands to push the hair completely out of her face, staring at Tori, watching her watch her confusedly.

Tori looked at the pale girl who was tapping her feet on the cement of her front porch in an absolute mess of emotions and the brown eyes turned sincere again.

"You are pretty Jade. One of the prettiest girls I have ever met." Tori spoke, reaching up to catch a piece of hair that had fallen in front of the girl's eyes and Jade's lids closed at the feeling of the soft graze of her fingertips.

Tori's fingers rested softly against Jade's face and before she knew it she was cupping it, caressing the skin there with her thumb. And the black haired girl was relaxing into the touch, feelings of absolute and total contentment washing over her in waves of uncontrollable calmness and as ironic as it seems, she felt her heart rate pick up considerably at the blatant touch.

"Do you not, believe me?"

"I do, I do…it's just, I had to hear you say it again. I had to know." Jade spoke lowly, opening her eyes, matching blue with brown and watching the emotions flash through both.

Tori swallowed, raising her other hand to the other side of the girl's face, tucking a loose strand of blue tipped hair behind her ear, "You had to know?"

Jade sighed at the feeling, feeling her body tremble at the contact.

"It felt so good Tori…hearing you tell me that. Nothing's ever made me feel that good…I had to know, I had to know it was you."

Tori searched her eyes, trying to understand…trying to figure out what she meant buy it being about her. She pulled her hands from the girl's cheeks, running her hand over the back of her neck, confused…nervous.

"You had to know it was me?" She questioned, reaching metaphorically for the feisty girl she had spent the evening with, not knowing what to do with this new vulnerability that was being displayed throughout the pale girl's senses.

It was then, that Tori Vega got what she asked for.

Jade's eyes turned fiery with a determination that she had previously considered lost, and she stared at the girl hard.

"You made me feel good with three words, three words that I have heard before but have never made me feel remotely as…nice as I feel, and I want to know why. I want to know why I had butterflies. I want to know why I cried on the drive over here, because not only was I starting to feel good…I started to feel, again. And it was because of three fucking words that I started to feel that way…so it has to be you. How? How did you make me feel so good?" She said, truly asking something of Tori, almost begging the girl to identify what it was about her that triggered the feelings that were consuming her.

There were more tears, now. Sliding down her cheeks, but she didn't feel sad.

She felt, free and open. She felt as if she was feeling for the first time. She felt like standing on this porch staring at this really attractive girl was opening a thousand opportunities that she had before thought would never come to her. She was scared and happy, and it felt amazing.

She felt amazing, and it was frustrating her because it was Tori's fault and she didn't know why.

"How are you doing this to me? Why do I feel like I had the best night of my life with you? Why do I feel like you're telling me the truth…damn it, how are you making me feel again, Tori?"

It was a rare moment that Tori's name left Jade's mouth.

The tone that it was laced in was a tone so brokenly desperate that Tori had to stop herself for a moment to wonder just how long it had been since Jade felt happy, truly happy. It made her wonder just how harshly the break-up with Beck affected her. It made her question if Jade had ever truly been happy with Beck, or happy with herself…or anyone.

It made her go back and evaluate all the times she found herself frustrated with the girl for hating her. Before there was no reason, now this girl stood in front of her pleading for answers to feelings that she was causing without even realizing she was causing them.

And it was causing her to feel her own feelings, feelings that made her body light up and seize. Feelings that were consuming her just as strongly and quickly as they were consuming the black haired tragically beautiful beauty that was staring at her with strong eyes of want…of need.

Tori raised a hand to her doorframe for something to hold onto, something to steady herself in the midst of the moonlight.

"Jade…I just told you what is true. You are a beautiful person, whether you want to embrace it or not…I have always thought that, I will always think that. You just have never given me a chance to tell you." Tori said, softly and Jade closed her liquid filled eyelids.

"Fuck, how are you doing this? How…how are your words making me feel – "

Her frantic and absolutely disoriented words were cut short by the feeling of Tori reaching for the girl and pulling her close to her, gripping her arms and surprising herself with the strength she possessed.

"Who made you like this? Who took the feeling of joy from you Jade, who made you feel so bad…who stole your happiness? Huh? Because you deserve this feeling, whatever this good feeling is that is coming from me…god, you deserve it."

Tori didn't understand how she became so desperate, she couldn't tell you why suddenly things got frustrating, and she couldn't tell you why it was breaking her heart realizing that whatever it was she was giving Jade, the girl had never had it before.

She watched the strong girl, the bitter demanding soul that she was criticizing mere hours before become, absolutely consumed within her, caught up in the touch and words that were emptying from Tori's mouth roughly.

The demeanor of the brown haired girl softened and she sighed, "I don't know how I made you feel good, I don't know why my words made you feel special. But I'd do it again, I'd say anything you want me to if it made you feel special…if it made you feel good."

It was a short moment of quietness, in which Tori watched closed eyelids, and a chest heaving in complete and total array at the words that were coming from her.

Jade was allowing herself to be swept up by Tori, something she had never allowed anyone the opportunity of. Something that she had promised herself would absolutely positively never happen to her, because she was just too strong, too fragile, and too damaged for it…but there was something about Tori. Something about the way her tongue twisted the words and her tone of voice changed that completely.

So it was inevitable, the reaction that she abandoned caution for and allowed herself to give off. It was inevitable that the effect of Tori's statement were words that were spiked, dangerous, and laden with everything that could lead to both excitement and disaster.

It was okay though, because Jade West was nothing but an exciting disaster.

Eyelids opened slowly and brown eyes of anxiousness locked with blues eyes of dark want, deep despondency, and the most shocking thing that Tori could ever find hidden within the depths of Jade West's eyes.

Desire.

"Make me feel good."

The words were whispered, plump lips allowing them to slip out almost poetically and rhythmically timed to the occasion.

They were left hung in the air, hands still gripping biceps, clutching and subconsciously holding two bodies that didn't even feel the heat of their feelings contrasting with the cold whip of wind coming from the open door.

Tori, with eyes furrowed with understanding but a naturally unsure nature, stared at the girl eyes flicking back and forth asking, wondering almost dramatically.

"Please…"

It was the broken whisper combined with pleading pupils that snapped any sense of resolve hiding inside of the brown haired beauty holding the girl captive in her embrace.

She dropped her hands and pulled the girl by her neck to slam her mouth on hers, hot and wet with want and submission.

She was overwhelmed.

Slender arms dropped keys and wrapped around shoulders and fingers delved into long waves of auburn tresses, and two feminine mouths worked together in tandem. It was sweet and frantic and salty with tears of need. It was deep and passionate, and lips morphed into one another moving effortlessly, moving soundly against each other.

Tori moved her hands to the girl's waist pushing their bodies flush together and leading the raven haired actress to wrapping her arms around her neck hands once more tangled in hair at the nape of her neck.

Jade briefly allowed her ears to trace the sound of the door being shut, before feeling her body become pressed up against it. She moved her hands to Tori's shoulders, gripping them as she felt the girl take control of her senses, moving her lips in a way that was before undiscovered, unheard of.

She was kissing her like her life depended on it and more importantly like she meant it, and it was making Jade lightheaded and dizzy, there was a feeling of absolute content with the way it was feeling and she couldn't help but allow the girl to have the control she was snatching from her.

Then there was the feeling of a tongue, Tori's tongue licking tracing Jade's bottom lip which felt absolutely glorious, and with a gasp the black haired girl found herself opening her mouth to Tori's tongue, which eagerly delved into her mouth.

It made her knees go weak, the feeling of the slender tongue sliding against her own, twisting, exploring and tasting every single inch of her mouth with absolutely no mercy. Jade felt her hands grip the shoulders tighter and their entire bodies became closer, somehow.

Tori's hands were under the hem of her shirt now, rubbing circles on her skin, right below the button of her skirt and she just couldn't stop the soft moan that emptied from her mouth.

It was like the sound stopped time.

As soon as Tori felt it vibrate against her lips, she pulled away, and Jade could have stomped her foot at the feeling of coldness that she felt at the lack of interaction. Her eyes fluttered open, and she locked onto Tori's.

She had never seen the girl who was practically dripping with innocence look so full of desire, and that prompted another sound that was almost nonexistent when it came to Jade West.

She whimpered.

And Tori fell to pieces.

She snatched her glasses from her face and latched her mouth back to hers, and her fingers found themselves pushing the fabric of the black shirt up her stomach, rubbing the skin, scratching the toned muscle, and when Jade gasped for the second time, Tori made another move.

She moved her mouth to the girl's neck, kissing silently, kissing so fluidly. She was kissing her like she deserved to be worshipped, and she was running her mouth and tongue and teeth over her neck as if she couldn't get enough of the taste of the pale skin.

She couldn't.

She trailed open-mouthed kisses, all along the expanse of her neck and Jade tangled her fingers in her hair, stroking. She threw her head back when Tori bit the skin harshly, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out at the feeling.

It proved even harder to keep a moan of pleasure from escaping when her tongue reached out to flicker over the bite that she had subjected herself to, and Jade briefly wondered where this person came from. She felt herself grow wet with arousal, and she registered how hot she was at this point.

Tori continued to assault her neck, greedy with the prospect of provoking more sounds from the girl and feeling her tug harshly on her long strands of hair at the roots, she wanted more.

She moved her knee to push Jade's apart, and she sunk even more into the black haired girl's body.

The feeling of her bare thigh now pressed against her center tore the otherwise suppressed moan from Jade.

It was common knowledge that her sounds, spurred Tori in a way that she never could have imagined. The girl rocked her hips into hers, rubbing her thigh sensually against the throbbing and currently dripping, sex causing a shudder to ripple through Jade.

She pulled Tori by her hair from her neck and reached for her sweatshirt to pull it over her head and then, wow.

Her breathing hitched at the sight of perky breasts and dusky brown nipples poking out at her.

She couldn't tear her eyes away from them, she couldn't take her mind from the fact that they were on display for her, for her eyes and Tori stood unabashedly for her. _For her._

Her mouth watered, and before giving the girl a chance to give any verbal response, she ducked her head and took the left mound of skin in her mouth, causing Tori to cry out loudly and whip her head back.

She felt the bare thigh sag from her center, and she took that chance to squeeze her hips and she worked her mouth over her breast, twirling her tongue over her nipple and sucking on the hard bud harshly.

"Oh god…"

It was the first form of words that Jade had heard from the girl and it caused wetness to flood her panties. She bit the flesh before pulling her mouth away and moving to the other side, feeling her hair be gripped by slender fingers that urged her on, and she absolutely adored the taste of the skin of this girl. She was addicted to the way when her lips wrapped around her pert nipples, Tori's back arched and she bucked her hips against her own with a moan of wanton lust.

Jade had not felt lust, in what felt like a lifetime.

But she felt it right now, and it felt really good.

She was attacking Tori's breasts with her mouth, unable to stop herself, and Tori finally pulled her up from her chest to press her lips against hers soundly, wasting no time to thrust her tongue into her mouth and mix partners, creating a dance that had already become strangely familiar.

Jade ran her nails up the girl's bare back and she bit her lip as she moaned loudly. Tori pulled away at the sting of pain from the girl's hands and she reached to snatch the black shirt from her body, before snapping the bra just as quickly.

She watched plump breast spill from the cups and she locked eyes with the girl, watching her look at her with pure unadulterated want.

"What do you want?" She said huskily, reaching up to push a falling piece of hair out of her face, before cupping her cheek and Jade closed her eyes at the touch, before breathing out, "I want you to make me feel good, Tori."

Tori grew wet at the request and didn't waste time to dip her head to flick her tongue against a nipple, watching the raven hair beauty arch off of the door and she reached to raise her hands against the door, above her as she assaulted her breasts with fever, relishing in the sounds that were emitting from Jade's body.

"Oh, _oh god, _that feels so…good…"

Tori sucked as Jade moaned, and she tightened her hold on the wrists as she worked her body over driving the girl crazy, teasing the peaks of flesh mercilessly.

Jade felt herself grow wetter, and she practically could feel it start to seep through her underwear through her tights…she wanted them off, she wanted and needed friction…soon. And it was something so roughly desired that she couldn't help but embrace her blunt attitude and simply demand it.

"Fuck, Tori I need you…touching me."

It made Tori snatch her mouth away from her chest and press their foreheads together, with a dark stare between them.

"Touching you, where?" She whispered, pressing her mouth against Jade's kissing her deeply and sliding her hands all the way from her wrists down her arms to her breasts where she gripped and flicked her thumbs over with a quick motion, causing the girl to pull away from the kiss with a moan.

Jade grabbed Tori's face and smashed their lips together harder, sucking on her tongue and causing the girl to slide one hand down her stomach right above the button of her skirt.

"There, I need you touching me, there." Jade moaned, throwing her head to the side as Tori sucked on her ear, taking it between her teeth, pulling. And Jade wondered if she would fall apart right there.

Tori flicked her tongue over the shell of her ear and licked before using her finger to flick the button open on her skirt, and pushing it off of her hips with her tights.

"Jesus, Jade…you have so many clothes on…too many clothes."

It was different hearing the pure craving practically oozing from the girl's voice as she snapped the elastic of the underwear against her waist, driving Jade crazy.

"Then take them off, please…I just need you." She whimpered, running her hand through her hair for the thousandth time.

Tori pulled away and slid her hand from her breast to her face to cradle and turn towards her.

"You need me?" she stated softly, and Jade recognized this as innocent Tori Vega appearing to make sure that it was okay with her, confirming that this really was what she wanted, making sure that everything was how it was supposed to be.

"I need, you…I need you to make me feel good…please." She said pressing her lips softly to hers, and Tori closed her eyes hearing the pure want in her voice, the pure need and absolute intoxicating arousal within her words.

Jade yearned for the feelings that Tori was igniting within her. And whatever they were, whatever purpose they served…how serious they could turn out to be, didn't really matter at the particular moment. Because, Jade deserved to feel good. She deserved anything that Tori could give her.

And she would give it to her.

She reached trembling hands down to the girl's panties, pulling them down her thighs slowly, watching the girl the entire time as her bare sex was revealed, the smell of just how much she needed Tori completely surrounding her senses.

Jade bit her lip, her hands frozen in the girl's hair. She could feel herself throbbing with want, her arousal dripping down her leg as she stared at Tori.

It was a moment hat Tori's fingers hovered over Jade's most private and intimate of areas and hesitation was only natural, and silent eyes conveyed messages, Jade pleading for the girl with her eyes to something.

"Tell me again…" Tori said roughly. And Jade could have cum right there at the sound of the girl's voice.

"Make me feel good…_please._" She whimpered, as she bucked her hips upwards as if to better her point, and Tori growled at the action, before using her knee to spread the girl's legs and dip her finger within her folds.

It was a feeling that she couldn't even imagine.

The tight wet feeling of Jade's heat completely enveloped and enamored Tori, and the look on the girl's face as she entered her was worth it. She couldn't take her eyes off of the girl as her eyes scrunched up and she opened her mouth in a silent 'o' at the feeling.

"Oh, god, Tori."

She moaned at the feeling, and Tori moved her slender finger swiftly in and out of the girl, watching her react to feeling of her inside, moving and she wasn't even really sure what she was doing and she felt extremely exposed and nervous as she worked her over with one finger.

"More…please, more Tori." Jade gasped, bringing her hand up to grip a shoulder, and Tori leaned down to kiss the girl hotly as she inserted a second finger.

The reaction was magnificent, she gripped her hair tighter and called out loudly, and Tori was absolutely enthralled.

She looked like the most beautiful creature to ever grace the earth, eyes closed mouth swollen from being kissed senseless and absolute incoherent sounds of pleasure wrecking through her body with every slow thrust of Tori's fingers.

It was the most addictive and sexual sight Tori had ever laid her eyes on, and she brought her other hand to the girl's breast, flicking her thumb over her nipple before speeding up her pace inside of Jade.

"Oh, _fuck, _Tori!" The girl called out at the simultaneous pull of emotions and Tori bit her lip, pressing her lips to the girl's ear.

"I want to make you feel good, Jade."

The whispered words, caused Jade to throw her head back and she raised a thigh to wrap around Tori's waist pulling the girl to her tightly as she rocked her hips into the fingers that were fucking her mercilessly.

Tori could feel her own wetness seeping through her panties, and she was throbbing consistently but she was too caught up in the sound of Jade's pleasure, in the sound of her fingers sliding in and out of her wetness, she was too busy reeling in the feeling of her walls clenching her fingers with every thrust.

"Does it feel good?" Tori asked, biting her ear, and Jade keened, gripping the hair so tightly Tori was sure she was going to rip her hair right out of her scalp, and the girl moaned loudly.

"It feels…so…good, so fucking good." Tori couldn't suppress her own moan as she released the grip on her hair and slid both of her hands inside the fabric of her shorts past her underwear to grip her ass.

"Jesus, Jade…you sound so fucking sexy, and you feel…So. Fucking. Good."

The punctuated her words with hard thrusts and Jade cried out at the feeling, "Shit, Tori, give me more…I need more."

It was intense, it was like Jade was drinking Tori up. She was accepting every single thing that Tori was giving her and sucking it into her system with an open heart and an open everything else.

She felt Tori light herself on fire with all of the feelings she was invoking in her as she stroked her sex perfectly, thrusting inside of her with hands that were moving as if they had been doing it their entire life.

Tori felt her heart beat fast in her chest as Jade squeezed her ass, urging her for more.

So she gave her more.

It was like someone flipped a switch on Jade when Tori lowered her mouth to her neck and sucked furiously while entering a third slender finger, barely into her tightness.

She couldn't stop the scream that tore through her throat at the feeling of her spot being hit directly and Tori moaned herself at the feeling of being so deep inside of the girl.

She was thrusting inside of her so passionately, so rough with emotion and Jade was moaning at the feeling of the effect of her body singing with the feeling of her spot being pounded into.

"Fuck, Tori…just like that, baby…" She called out and upon the term of endearment Tori thought she would fall to pieces and couldn't discover how she managed to hold it together, but did and sped up her thrusting.

"You make me feel so good, Tori, fuck…so good…" She moaned out, and Tori muffled her moans of pleasure and compliment by pressing her lips to the girls with fever, running her tongue up and along the crevices of her mouth.

Jade's mind was cloudy again, with that feeling absolute greatness taking over. Her senses were becoming hazy only this time she felt singed with fire, she felt like she was an icy white hot all over, and she never wanted it to end. She wanted to combust this way, she felt like she was going to combust.

It just felt so good.

She reached from the place of tori's ass to the front, and found the girl's throbbing clit, which caused her to buck into her hand and gasp as she pulled away from her mouth, losing her rhythm.

"Jesus, Jade…oh god…"

Jade thrust into her fingers, and circled Tori's clit, feeling wet juices seep across her fingers and before she could register it, because she just needed more, she thrust two fingers inside the girl which caused her to cry out.

The girl buried her head in the Jade's neck, before her fingers entered and she felt her system become full of absolute and total overload of pleasure as she fucked Jade now faster than before and feeling Jade fuck her with countering thrusts.

"So good, Tori…I'm so close…" She whimpered, pounding her fingers into Tori, somehow managing to hit Tori's pleasure point with quick but firm strokes.

They were both so close.

Tori was moaning and whimpering obscenities inside of Jade's ear it was taking her to another level, the girl bit Jade's neck as her body started to tremble with the feeling of her fingers so deep inside of her, and vice versa.

There was something so realistically amazing about being inside of her and giving her what she wanted, making her feel good despite the consequences that the morning could bring. It was the most comfortable place, being inside of her and she felt most comfortable being inside of her.

It was magnificent.

Jade was gasping and moaning and one hand was squeezing her butt while the other initiated Tori's gasps and moans.

"Tori, fuck, I'm so close…"

Those were words that drove the animal straight from Tori Vega and she pounded into Jade as if her life depended on it solely and Jade tried to reciprocate despite the feeling offering off rhythm thrusts inside of Tori and it was a sea of fast rough passionate love making, the door rattling in the frame with the harsh sounds of Jade's back rocking against it quickly as Tori lit it on fire.

Suddenly, white spots busted through Jade's vision and a feeling of undoing coiled throughout her entire body as names were chanted and they both tumbled over the edge together. Sweat sheening their bodies.

Tori felt her entire body set in gooesbumps in a fuzzy feeling of absolute satisfaction and she felt her soaked hand, still embedded in Jade, languid strokes being provided as the girl rode out her orgasm with whimpers of contentment, soft moans of pleasure rippling through her body and she brought Tori's lips to hers soundly, softly, intertwining their tongues and leisurely stroking her cheek with her free hand as they kissed.

They were connected, still.

Hands buried deep within one another as they caressed mouths and shared physical unspoken reasons of justification at the predicament they had found them in. Slow tears dripped from Jade's eyes and Tori tasted them on her lips as she kissed her, before she kissed them away, wiping droplets gone with her thumb.

She wasn't worried about what tomorrow would bring. Neither of them were worried about the possible shame or regret of confusion that could be there the next morning. No one was trying to over analyze and have conversations concerning their position or why it happened.

They just stood, tangled in limbs, pressed against the door and basking in the throes of pleasure that had taken place. They stood wrapped in each other's arms the comfort of knowing that the feelings that had rose to flames that evening were real, very real, and would indefinitely need to be addressed.

But the feelings of lips, teeth, tongue and soft touches overruled that motion, which led the two girls to stay like that, connected. And one thing could be agreed on. One sacred thing between those two lovers required no speaking, absolutely no words to understand.

It felt really good.

**A/N: Did you like it? Tell me!**

**REVIEW!**

**-Mimi**


	2. Stay With Me

_Make Me Feel Good_

**A/N: I decided to just make this a story. I figure I could have some fun with it…really go in depth of what's going inside of Jade's brain, you guys up for it? I hope so. I hope you guys enjoy it. Warning, it gets a little graphic, for my taste. Excuse any mistakes, I am halfway asleep while editing this.  
><strong>

**BTW: This is named after a Danity Kane song, called "Stay With Me".**

**Disclaimer: Nah, because then there would be lesbians, and nickelodeon just can't handle me and my **_**lesbians**_**.**

Stay With Me

It was clear that whatever it was about Tori that Jade was drunk on was settling and manifesting in her system, and it was crippling her.

The sunlight drifted through the sheer curtains of the bedroom and roused the black haired girl from the unusually peaceful slumber that she was in, she felt her eyelids flutter open and suddenly her senses became aware of her surroundings.

When everything settled into focus, when everything stopped being so blurry and confusing she was aware of her completely bare body being hugged to another completely bare body.

She could feel the familiar nakedness of a female, breasts and firm abs, and… other things tightly against her back, against her ass. Her warm breath was against her neck and Jade allowed her eyes to shift down to the arms that were providing the lock to their conjoined bodies.

It was all very stimulating…and frightening.

Slowly, her brain started to slip the events from the night before into focus and she realized that somehow after all the stimulating touches and loud gasps of pleasure, they ended up inside Tori's bed, sweaty and naked with unforeseen passion.

She was completely nude in Tori's bed.

It was wrong, it was all wrong. She found herself panicking quickly, tucking her anxiety firmly within herself and trying to salvage the insanity by saying that it was definitely wrong, everything was definitely wrong. She shouldn't be here in this bed…she shouldn't be so comfortable.

This was all wrong.

She was ignoring the thumping in her chest, she was ignoring the feeling of absolute bliss, the butterflies that were fluttering uncontrollably as the brunette shifted behind her, sliding a thigh in between hers, and brushing her knee against the very sensitive and throbbing center.

Her breathing hitched, and god she needed to move. She needed to go before the spell and the senses started to heighten again, she needed to go before the emotions that Tori was sparking started to come back and things started to feel good again.

It had felt so good, so excellent, but she didn't have time for that. It could be deceiving, feeling something so substantially satisfying. It could be sick trickery. Something there to mask how inexplicably wrong it was.

Wasn't it wrong to feel that way? Wasn't it wrong to fuck someone that you were supposed to hate, someone that was most definitely supposed to hate you against the door of their home and between their sheets until the wee hours of the morning?

Sounded good, but that's to deter you from the bad part about it.

It was wrong, feelings…emotions. They were always in the way, and they were few with Jade and she was still in the process of figuring them out, of decoding what was so good about them, what was so good about what Tori invoked.

Everything about Tori's hands, everything about Tori's tongue and fingers and touches were absolutely delicious, absolutely magnificent. They were satiating in a way that was maddening and uncontrollable.

She casted her blue eyes towards the ceiling, wrecking her brain to figure out how she was going to remove herself from the situation, from the absolute embarrassment of feeling, of letting someone in. It was a dangerous thing.

But before she could contemplate moving her body, Tori shifted once more, burying her parted lips into Jade's neck and sliding her hand up to brush against Jade's breast…causing her nipple to harden immediately at the touch.

Jade had to bite her lip to fight the whimper that threatened to escape, it just felt so good. She closed her eyes leaning her head back into the feeling of the girl's lips on her even if it was the soft breath, and barely there touch of the lips in the midst of her sleeping.

It was starting to build up again, the feelings. And Jade could feel herself reacting; she could feel herself start to become something that was lethal, something good. The sunlight filtered stronger though the window and surely the light would wake the Vega girl up soon, she could only hope for it.

She reached her hands to lie softly atop of the girl's clasped ones around her waist, and she made a small and careful move, as if to remove them.

It caused Tori to stir, incoherent words formed upon her squirming and she buried her face deeper into the pale of her neck, nose rubbing against a sore spot that Jade assumed was a love bite from the activities of the night before.

It caused the black haired girl to hiss, remembering the pleasurable pain it caused the night before, and Tori's knee brushed up again her center another time.

The moan slipped out successfully, this time.

It seemed that that was enough to serve as an unprecedented alarm clock for the girl attached to her back and she could practically feel the eyes open and slowly burn into her neck, and soon Tori's head lifted from her skin, leaving a place for cold air.

Jade was too tired to protest at this point, to shivery and cold with anticipation of good feeling to tell the girl that she wanted to get up. She was too edgy to have a meaningful and awkward conversation about the confusion and lack of understanding in the events that they indulged in the night before.

She honestly just wanted to indulge some more.

"J-Jade?"

It was Tori, shy and meaningful Tori, looking out for the raven haired girl's feelings. She was trying to gauge a reaction and she went to slide her knee from the trap it had inhabited in between the girl's legs, but found herself being halted.

Jade reached her fingers down quickly to stop the movement, gasping as the area that had been filled with the effect of the pressure from her knee now felt empty and pulsated with need of satisfaction.

"Please…don't move…it felt so good…"

Was that her voice? She didn't even recognize the desperate whisper that was emptying from her lips at the lack of feeling, and she wondered if it frightened Tori as much as it was frightening her.

She wondered if she could feel her trembling, if she could feel her breath becoming unlabored and if she was worried about the irregular rhythm of her heartbeat.

It wasn't elaborated on, her emotions and her body language, a hand was moving from her waist to the dampening area between her legs and she sucked in a breath.

Still tentative fingers trailed along the tip of her clit, brushing against the swollen and throbbing area causing her to arch into the naked girl pressed against her back, and Tori didn't utter a word, just pressed her lips against the smooth expanse of the girl's shoulder, pressing her fingers more firmly against the area they were commanding. And the raven haired girl could only focus on the fingers brushing against her purposefully, circling and working with ease.

Soft gasps of pleasure erupted from the body of the girl and it was almost in surround sound as the room with was filled with nothing else. Tori trailed her tongue now up her neck, tracing the marks she left the night before in the throes of their, love making?

She was on the fence, was it even safe to call it that? Was she even making love to her?

She wasn't sure if she was allowed to make love to someone like Jade. It sure felt like she was making love to her, it felt like she was making her feel good, like love making was supposed to feel.

She wasn't a vulgar person, she wasn't someone who liked to feel like she was in control, she wasn't a particularly vicious person, but somehow when placed behind or in front of or around a naked and wanton Jade, begging for her to take care of her, giving up the complete control to make her feel what anyone else could have the purpose of making her feel, she became filled with a passion that she was sure she never felt ignited inside of her.

She pressed harder against the girl's clit, wetness consuming her fingers and the girl practically mewled at the feeling.

Things probably needed to be discussed, feelings needed to be determined…but in this world that Tori was allowing herself to be consumed in, in this place that the beautifully troubled and desperate girl had dragged her to there was no time for it.

Unspoken things worked better.

It was unspoken that she was supposed to be doing this, somewhere in her brain there was a mechanism that was telling her this was right, this was what was supposed to be happening. She was supposed to be fucking Jade, making love to her, whatever her hands felt they needed to be doing, whatever her body felt was right.

Currently, her fingers were teasing the black haired girl's clit, while her hand left the girl's waist, untangled from her hands, and raised to palm her breast, to massage the soft mound of flesh softly. Her lips now moved to her ear, nipping the skin and pressing soft kisses around it.

It was overwhelming; the sensual and absolute lustful way Tori was touching Jade. She felt her body become consumed in the same flames, the same tight feeling of pleasure that it had been in the night before.

Jade choked out a moan, when Tori's hands pinched her nipple and her clit at the same time and she found herself wondering just how the girl knew how to work her over the way she was, she shivered at the feeling.

Turning her head slightly, she allowed herself to meet the lazy but passionate eyes of the brunette that was pressed against her back tightly. With a look full of desire, she reached her arm up to pull the girl by the back of the neck down to press her lips against hers hungrily, sliding her tongue between her lips easily and tasting every inch of her mouth with fervor.

The blacked haired girl moaned, before feeling the pressure from her center disappear and she pulled away from the kiss with a whimper, "Tori, what are you doing...?"

Tori ignored her protests, pulling herself from her position quickly and sliding down to the foot of the bed, pushing Jade to lie on her back.

The auburn haired girl let her eyes travel blatantly over the pale skin of Jade's body, she took in the flushed tone of her form, stimulated and visibly throbbing with want. The girl sat up on her elbows watching in wonderment as Tori locked eyes with her and slowly spread her thighs apart.

It was quite evident that when being swept up in the feeling of being this close and this intimate with the girl, Jade's judgment and internal knowledge of what was right and what was supposedly, incredibly off track and wrong was fucked literally.

Maybe she was so lost, so utterly confused by the events…the feelings that were starting to consider permanent refuge within her system that her judgment of what she should be doing and her judgment of how to gain control of the situation was disintegrating within the humid air of the room.

And she really should be stopping this, stopping the feelings because she hadn't even started sorting them out, and she hadn't even begun figuring out the effect of Tori and why it was so stimulating and moving. She really should be getting a grip, she knew she should've have been. Her clothes were strewn across the floor of the room, she could easily untangle herself from the sheets of the bed, and leave, forget everything happened and work on figuring out what was causing her body to be this desperate, this…sensitive.

She watched the pupils of the girl dilate as she watched her, lips pressing against the skin of her thigh. Jade sat up against the silky sheets watching as Tori ran her hands along the back of her legs while she trailed extremely close to the bare and soaking wet sight of her sex, dripping with want.

She wondered how crazed she look, her hair flipped over on her head, cheeks red with a sudden realization of just how nude she was.

Tori moved her eyes from the sight of Jade's face and focused of the sight of her pink and swollen lips, calling out to her, and she had never seen a sight more delectable in her life. She doesn't know where it came from, she never envisioned herself being this open to anything.

But she couldn't deny the way her mouth watered when she saw the shiny liquid dripping from the raven haired girl's center.

She was dripping for her, and she wanted a taste.

She wanted to taste her.

Jade watched, holding her breath as she could practically see the wheels turning in the brunette's head as she looked back up at her and stared with deep eyes full of want, she watched her with the same unmoving eyes. Almost as if she blinked, something would change. Something would cause this moment to switch into something not equally as satisfying, something that would wake them from the dream land that they had been casted into. Jade briefly realized that she should have been trying to stop this by now.

But she just didn't think she could do it.

And then, insecurity flashed like lightening within the brown haired girl's eyes and she bit her lip, "Jade…can I taste you?" The words vibrated in her ears and she found her heart beating wildly in her chest as the brunette waited for an answer.

She really should stop her.

"Tori I…"

The thought went unfinished, the feeling of a long hot tongue taking a swipe at her sex caused her eyes to roll to the back of her head and she found herself sinking back into the mattress, hands gripping the sheets around her tightly.

Tori closed her eyes at the surprisingly sweet taste of Jade and she was so wrapped within the smell, wrapped within the feeling of having her on her tongue that she couldn't stop herself from moaning against her.

"Fuck Tori…god…" Jade moaned out, as she felt the girl dip her tongue within her lips, flicking within her folds and she arched against the mattress.

The brunette couldn't get enough. It was absolutely consuming. She tasted so good, she tasted as if she belonged on her tongue. More special that any song lyric, or any line that she had ever learned.

She was quickly her favorite flavor, and she lifted the pale thighs to sit on her shoulders, allowing her to plunge her tongue deeper within the depths of the girl, who sat back up on her elbows, calling out at the feeling of being completely swept up by the incessant lapping of the girl below her.

It was system overload and she couldn't get a grip on the way it felt, her body was springing into all different directions as the tan girl sucked on her clit now, pulling back to flick her tongue across it before plunging her tongue roughly past her lips again, tasting the flowing juice from her body.

It felt so fucking fantastic, although it shouldn't have and she didn't understand what she was doing to her. She didn't understand why her body was on fire in a flame that never found itself lit while being intimate with Beck. She never felt like she could fall completely from the edge and be okay with it.

She never felt that she could die this way, die with Tori Vega's mouth sucking and fucking her dry. It was so unreal.

"God Jade, you taste so good."

Jade's eyes rolled back once more, and she reached to grab onto the girl's hair. She pulled roughly on the strands as she moved her hips in time with her tongue. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…how are you doing t-this to me…" She moaned out and Tori smirked into the girl, lifting her eyes to glance at her writhing against the bed as she lapped at her like she was her last meal.

"Does it feel good Jade?" She spoke against her clit which was puckering slowly against her lips before taking it into her mouth with a harsh suck, causing the girl to cry out in pleasure.

Jade was sobbing, practically. Sucking in huge deep gulps of air at the feeling of the brunette gripping her thighs so tightly she was sure there would be fingerprints later while she fucked her fast with a quick tongue, staring at her with big brown eyes full of need.

It was hard for Jade to understand, was she supposed to answer coherently? She couldn't even keep up with the rhythm that the singer was relishing on her center, she was sure she was going to rip her hair from her scalp, much like she almost did the night before against her front door.

"Jade, answer me, please…I asked you if it felt good." Tori spoke firmly, and Jade briefly wondered where the commandeering voice came from. She had never heard the girl speak so huskily and it was doing things to her body. She was practically trembling at the sound.

"It feels…oh god…" Jade choked out, practically humping the girl's face as she felt her body become slick with sweat at the amount of pleasure she was receiving, but Tori wasn't satisfied. Tori wanted more, she wanted Jade completely at her mercy, and she wanted her completely undone.

Ripping her mouth completely from the girl's still dripping sex, Tori watched the shock form on the girl's face. "Tori no…please don't stop, please," She said, and Tori sat up from her body, staring down at her.

"Open your eyes."

It came with a strong tone, a forceful one. And Jade felt herself grow anxious, before she allowed her eyes to flutter open to lock on the naked body of Tori, watching her naked body as she still lightly gripped her thighs, now just completely spread before her.

"Did it feel good?" Tori asked, leaning forward and slipping casually in between her legs to press her lips against the raven haired girl's harshly, rubbing her tongue against hers and flicking it sensually. She felt the girl wrap her arms around her neck and before she could even register, the brunette slid three fingers inside of Jade's sex without a warning.

The scream that reached her ears at the entrance should have been the answer but Tori somehow couldn't identify and prevent the possessiveness from seeping out of her voice, she reached down to wrap her spread legs around her waist, before pulling her up so that they were sitting up on the bed, together.

Tori slid her fingers out and then in the girl, easily, closing her eyes and relishing in the tightness of her, she breathed out a moan herself at the feeling before leaning forward to capture the girl's lips for another time.

Jade threw her head back as Tori thrust into her roughly, "Tell me Jade, Does. It. Feel. Good?"

She punctuated each word with the quick and hard movement of her hand. There was something primal about holding a slick, wet, and wanton Jade as she depended completely on you to make her feel good, something about feeling her scrape her nails down your back, most likely drawing blood as she moaned loud obscenities into your ear.

"Fuck! Tori…yes, it feels good, so good…god you're so deep…" She called out as Tori growled at the sound of her submission, flicking her wrist and shoving her fingers even deeper into her heat, feeling her suck her in completely.

The raven haired girl rolled her hips against the brunette's fingers, as Tori gripped her around the waist, fucking her with quick deep thrusts, high off the sounds that were being mewled into her ear, surrounding the room bouncing off of the walls in high definition it seemed.

Tori was absolutely drunk off of the feeling, the feeling of being inside of Jade. The feeling of having her completely at her whim as she made love to her.

That's what it was. It was specified now.

She felt like this was something that she would never share with anyone else. She felt like fucking Jade was a taste that she couldn't experience with anything or anyone else. She was absolutely falling into an abyss of the essence of her. The essence of her dripping onto her fingers, the essence of her practically choking on her screams as she surrendered to every touch that Tori was absolutely taking her over with, it was special to her.

And addictive.

She couldn't stop herself from sinking her teeth into the skin of her neck, she couldn't prevent herself from speeding up the motion of her hand and she couldn't stop herself from moaning in pleasure as she felt Jade squeeze her fingers with her internal walls, constricting around her digits.

"I'm close, oh shit, Tori..."

"Tell me what you need Jade, tell me what you want me to do." Tori asked, desperately as the girl called out pulling the brunette's lips to her mouth harshly, thrusting her tongue into her mouth in time with the quick jabs of her fingers.

"Harder, Tori…I need you…harder…"

Something snapped inside of her, something that was naturally and similarly determined as unknown, at the sound of Jade needing Tori.

She needed her.

Jade needed Tori.

Tori moaned possessively and sped up the timing in her fingers, the force behind her hand almost superhuman as she felt the tips of her fingers pressing against the trigger spot that would most definitely bring the girl completely over the edge.

Jade opened her eyes and pulled back from the embrace, hands wrapped tight around the girl's neck as she rocked on top of her slender fingers hard. She rode the digits, opening her mouth and crying out with a husky and primal roar of her vocal chords that Tori was sure she had never heard come from the actress' lips.

She watched her as she slammed her hips against her fingers, her spot coming in direct contact with every motion of her hips, and Tori watched, and memorized, letting herself become soaked up in everything that this moment was, she allowed herself to be completely masked in the pleasure of causing Jade West to be humping her hand with an extreme amount of force, trying to get off…she needed Tori to get off.

Tori was completely and totally in charge of satisfying Jade and if this was the last moment that she would ever have the chance for it she was suddenly overcome with the urge to make the absolute most of it.

She wanted to be the best that the girl ever had, she found herself pressing light kisses to the raven haired girl's neck, and swirling her tongue against the bob of her throat flicking her tongue over the vein. "It doesn't feel this good with anyone else, Jade…does it?"

"Oh god, Tori! Please, fuck me…"

Tori smirked, slowing her plunges to random rough thrusts, the rhythm becoming sporadic and causing Jade to grip her tightly, while Tori raised her hand to pull her head forward and Jade forced her eyes open.

"Beck…didn't make you feel this way, did he?" Tori said, hesitantly but forcefully slowing down considerably and the girl mewled fisting her hands in the brunette's brown locks.

"Tori…I-I'm so close…please…" The words were a mantra now, and Tori felt herself drip down her thighs at the sound, it was so sexy…so sensual to hear her so frantic, craving the release that only she could give her. But the answer wasn't good enough, because this wasn't the Tori that she had come to know. This wasn't the Tori that bowed down to everyone else; this wasn't the girl that cowered. This was the feral, absolutely animalistic, lover that Jade craved.

She was what Jade craved.

And that was so crippling.

Tori stopped her thrusts abruptly and Jade yanked the strands of hair in frustration and now Tori recognized her, she recognized this rough and demanding girl.

"Beck never fucked you like this did he? He never made you feel good…like I do, huh?" The words were knowing, and confident and vulgar in the utmost sense. They were unrecognizable coming from Tori and it only made Jade seep more wetness onto the fingers that were buried inside of her.

"Fuck you Tori, stop teasing me…just please…I'm so close!" Tori chuckled deeply and thrust one rough time, causing the girl to cry out in pleasure.

"Then tell me Jade…tell me why it's just me, tell me why I'm the only one that can make you feel this good?"

It was partially within the fever of her fucking and it was partially her genuine curiosity that caused her to demand the answers from the girl, she really wanted to know. She really wanted to know what caused the girl to end up on her doorstep and more specifically in her bed.

She wanted to know what was going on inside of the girl's head. What was causing her to feel so good, and she wanted to know what was causing her to get these good feelings from her.

"Fuck, I don't know Tori…I don't…It's you. It's only you, no one else. No one else can make me feel this good. Now, please…please fuck me." Jade said desperately, practically sobbing the words out as she pulled her lips to press against hers for the thousandth time that morning, and it was so long…it felt like they had been going at this for hours, but it was barely eight in the morning and god she felt so good all over, like she could explode any minute.

"Please fuck me…" Jade whimpered against her lips and Tori sighed pleasurably into the kiss, starting up her fingers again and thrusting quickly inside of the girl, so deep that her palm was slapping against her throbbing clit, and the girl was rolling her hips and rubbing against her, crying out at the feeling of absolute ecstasy that was seeping throughout her system.

Jade could feel it again, she could feel the pull in the pit of her stomach and it was strong, it was out of control and it was completely because of Tori.

"Come on, Jade…let go."

She felt the white sticky hot feeling wrap around her insides and with the curl of Tori's fingers right against her spot she let out a scream that she never once in her entire life thought would ever leave her lips.

Tori threw her head back at the sound, and she was almost positive that she came purely from hearing the obscene howl as it dripped from the black haired girl's lips while she rode her orgasm out with rapid vehemence, her pussy walls clenching the girl's fingers intensely, liquid gushing from the depths of her as she languidly rolled her hips over Tori's languid strokes.

The two girls stayed still that way, Tori gripping Jade's waist, while Jade buried her face in the girl's neck mewling at the aftershocks of the crescendo of waves that were passing throughout her body.

Hair was sticking to foreheads, and Tori leaned the girl backwards on the mattress, while her legs still wrapped firmly around her waist and her fingers were still buried within her depths. She pressed slow and soft kisses to the salty sweaty skin of her neck, just to savor the moment a little longer.

She wanted to be able to absorb the calmness, absorb the simple nature of it all before things calmed down and seemed more like a mistake, before things started to become difficult, it should have stopped…maybe.

It felt so right

It felt so absolutely spectacular, it felt so natural. Almost as if things were supposed to be this way with Jade and she has been missing out on the feeling for forever.

What if she had? What if the hatred and the feuding were just the catalyst for all of this…whatever it was?

A silence passed, and then…she felt herself be moved, she felt the body of Jade slowly start to move out from under her, and without thinking she held on, confusedly.

"Jade…where are you going?" Tori said softly.

Jade felt herself pause at the voice, there was so much room for hurt, so much room to crack or break the fragile glass of Tori Vega, and even as she started to remove herself from the confines of the room, even as she felt herself start to slip away from the privacy of her sheets, it felt so wrong.

Was she supposed to be there? Was the right part really their intimacy and that's why it felt so good, was it good because it was supposed to be?

It was clouding her brain fogging her senses, and being so close to the girl wasn't helping. She moved out from under her and stood from the bed, reluctantly searching around for her scattered items of clothing.

"I've…I've got to go."

Jade wasn't looking her in the eye and Tori found herself feeling a little less confident now, sitting up, completely exposed in the throes of the sheets looking around as the girl moved around the room, throwing on articles of clothing.

"But…why? Jade, I think we need to talk about…this."

Jade shook her head, she wasn't ready to talk…she didn't know what talking would mean, what it would lead to. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this, ready for the revelations.

"Tori, I don't think I can handle that…not today…" She said absentmindedly, and Tori stood from the bed quickly, wrapping herself up in the sheets, tucking it under her arm.

"Jade, please…don't do this-"

"Stop it Tori. I'm not doing anything." Jade said turning to her, and she locked fiery eyes to the brown ones, gripping her shirt in her hand, before turning away from her.

"I've got to go, Tori-"

"Stay."

The word was whispered softly, and Jade sighed, feeling a hand touch her shoulder, fingertips sliding over the strap of her bra. It was a touch full of meaning, full of need and it was breaking her resolve.

"Stay…please, at least let me make you coffee, or take you out for some…something Jade, just stay." It was a plea in its best form, a girl confused and lost but swept up in the amount of satisfaction that the overwhelming feelings brought to her, despite how scary and dangerous they were.

It was dangerous for them to be so good, so right.

"I don't want to talk, Tori…I-I'm not ready to understand what this is, just yet." Jade spoke and her voice cracked with an emotion that was unidentifiable.

"We don't have to talk…just stay, stay." Tori said, and she moved to wrap an arm around the girl's waist, pressing a soft kiss to the skin of her shoulder. Jade leaned back into touch, again.

This was how it started.

It was crippling her, whatever it was about Tori that she was consuming, whatever it was that she was drinking up and letting sink into system. It was crippling her sanity, her control, her resolve.

"Jade…"

"I'll stay."

**A/N: Review please and thank you!**

**-Mimi**


	3. Go Back To Where We Were

_Make Me Feel Good_

**A/N: Alright, kids. Hiatus over, I'm actually on a schedule here, so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thanks for sticking with this story, I'm excited for the direction it's going, it's going to be interesting! Oh, shamless advertising here. I started a story about Cat and Jade called **_**Bittersweet**_**, it's new and different and a lot more…intimate, but with an interesting twist. It's new for me and I think it's on a good path, and I should be updating it pretty soon. Feel free to check it out if you'd like! **

**BTW: This is actually named after lyrics from a song by a singer named Ledisi, called "Coffee". It's an epic song! **

**Disclaimer: Nah, because then there would be lesbians, and nickelodeon just can't handle me and my **_**lesbians**_**.**

Go Back To Where We Were 

She was obsessed with coffee.

It was something that baffled and bewildered most, but made perfect sense to her. It made absolute sense to her, actually.

She drank it daily, at any time of the day because in her personal opinion, it was the perfect drink to compliment her, and most importantly her eccentric and eclectic personality.

Coffee was an eccentric drink. The media and the world liked to make it out as if it was only something that intelligent people drank, and only drank in the morning time. But in all reality, coffee was absolutely made for the type of people that were different, the type of people that needed a certain kind of energy, a special kind of vibe to boost them on, to move them forward.

Jade was most definitely one of those people.

Whether she was subsequently unpleasant or raging with creative energy masking the dysfunction underneath it all, coffee was her salvation. It was the one thing that could boost her in the way she needed. It was a liquid repentant for all the sins that she was or wasn't committing.

It was there for her when most weren't, and some may have thought her relationship with the drink was borderline ridiculous and absolute abnormal in the worst obsessive way, but it was the only thing keeping her upright at times. It was the only thing that made her mind function rationally, although it spurred the insults and served as an accomplice to the rude vocal opinion of people.

The coffee that she drank was the catalyst to the mask she wore.

It was comfortable, and it was normal. She knew coffee, she was used to coffee and she could handle the scalding drink, she had control over it. She could fathom the burning taste of the liquid as it slid down her throat; she could handle all of ache that it quelled. She liked how it felt, drinking coffee.

It retrospect, she was like the very coffee that she drank.

She was scalding hot, different, and eclectic. She was much like the offending item, needing to be contained with a certain type of mug or cup, an acquired taste only made for the type of people that could handle it. Most importantly, she was black…and remained black, and bitter.

Until added sweetness.

You had to find a flavor that complimented coffee the way it needed to be in order to make it taste the way it should. Unless you preferred it bitter, and that angry misunderstood black.

Jade was the epitome of that same bitterness that a cup of coffee held.

She just hadn't really had a chance to find the flavor that complimented her best.

When she drank it, her entire focus was on that particular type, because it exemplified who she was. And it exemplified just how different and eccentric she was or wanted to be in that particular moment.

She and her coffee were in sync at all times, and it controlled her. It kept her fused to the mask, fused to the facade that she kept up with her biting remarks and her uneven and bent personality. It was easy to be Jade and forget all of the troubles that surrounded her physically; it was easier to forget the deep searing pain that raged within her, it was easy to cover it with her coffee.

It made her life easy.

Clutching her coffee in her hands, and soaking the steam from the smell of the bitter black liquid just calmed her senses automatically. And in this particular moment, sitting across from a nervous mocha latte drinking, Tori...she needed her salvation, she needed her control.

Because being around the half Latina girl, made her lose all control.

And that Latina girl, was watching her, she was studying her as she sipped her coffee, absolutely black with no added sugar or milk. As black as the depth in her eyes, and the clothes she wore. It was quite the moment.

Walking into the café held a different feeling for her today, with the same clothes from the night before. The same clothes that she had drove over to the girl's house in and then allowed to be stripped from her pale body, the same clothes that she desperately searched for only thirty minutes prior, after allowing herself to be stroked and fucked, and sucked into absolute orgasmic pleasure and unraveling the control that she had been struggling to hold onto since sitting next to the girl in the sushi bar, earlier that evening.

She had never known what any kind of walk of shame felt like, until she stepped out of the girl's house and passed her mother on the way out, pausing to pick up her panties that had obviously been left lying in front of the doorway, from the night before.

It was mortifying, but strangely caused her to feel all kinds of feelings that she wasn't sure she was ready to feel.

She didn't want to talk about it all, didn't want to really give Tori an explanation of why the words of the sushi bar meant that much to her. She didn't want to go back, and give her a little only to open the door for her to dig senselessly into her brew of bitter black bullshit, and find the lot she was trying to hide.

She just didn't.

But things changed when Tori was so close to her that she could taste, and feel her. Everything just becomes a lot harder to fake, a lot harder to push behind you.

She sat the mug down, and placed her pale fingers on either side of it, taking a small breath and trailing deep eyes over the various rings encompassing each finger.

A few seconds went by and she studied the skin of her knuckles, allowed her eyes to linger over it all, allowed herself to be consumed in whatever blank nothingness was happening around her, she was allowing the silence of the bubble she usually trapped herself in.

And then the sound of Tori clearing her throat, preparing to speak up interrupted her thoughts.

"Um…Jade?"

She didn't look up. For Tori that was a sign to continue and her shaking nervousness practically blared like high definition stereo speakers through her body language, through her face.

"I-I…just, I just want to tell you that…last night, and well…this morning was, well…"

"A mistake?" Jade cut through, sliding eyes slowly upward to share a view with the girl. Things were going way too slow, and she could only control herself for so long.

"No," Tori furrowed her eyebrows and Jade licked her lips at the confused facial expression, the Latina sighed. "Listen Jade, I don't regret anything that happened…I just want to talk about it."

Jade tilted her chin up, reaching for her coffee and taking a sip, and then drumming impatient fingers on the table top.

"I don't really want to talk about anything."

Tori bit her lip. "Why did you show up last night? Why did what I said mean so much to you?"

Jade looked away, "Too many questions." Tori sat up and sat her coffee down exasperatedly.

"Give me some answers, Jade." She said, reaching her hand to touch the raven haired girl's. Jade snatched her hand back from the touch quickly, the spark that shook her body already opening doors for more shit to go down, more shit than she really needed.

"I don't have to give you anything." Jade scoffed defiantly.

"Jade, something…I just need to know why –"

"You don't need to know anything from me, I don't have to tell you any answers, I don't have to give you shit, Vega." Jade snapped, crossing her arms and she noticed the flush appear on Tori's neck.

The girl surprised the both of them, slamming her hand on the table next to her coffee, and leaning forward.

"So, it's Vega now? I'm not _Tori, _not the name you were screaming out this morning and last night? You were pretty damn eager to give me everything last night, Jade. Ready to let me do whatever I wanted with you, with your body…but you can't open your mouth and talk about it?" Tori hissed and Jade felt her stomach flip at the memory of how willing she was to give Tori control, the control that was slipping from her at this very moment.

"We fucked, Tori. There…is that what you wanted to hear? I let you fuck me." Jade said with a cynical laugh watching Tori lean back and cross her arms.

They stared at each other for a long while; silent communication transferring from one strong look to the next, and Jade looked into her coffee, before Tori spoke up.

"Why did it mean so much when I called you pretty, Jade? What touched you so much…what about it made you feel so good, that you needed me to do more, what feeling did you have from my words that made you crave more?"

"I don't fucking know, Tori!" She snapped, running a tired hand through her long black locks, "I don't…I don't know. I just know that you said that…and I have just never heard it the way you said it, it fucking made me feel like…like…I don't know - you know what? I have to go." It was a string of control, she was babbling and she realized how fast that rope had disintegrated into a tiny little string. She realized how fast that string was slipping from her grasp. Standing, she turned to leave quite literally leaving her coffee disguised control on the table with Tori. Until she felt a strong arm pull her back down into the seat.

"Jade, don't run…stop running, tell me what you felt. Tell me, if it made you feel loved-"

"Don't do that…don't fucking say that word."

"What happened to you Jade? Did Beck do this to you? Did he make you like this?" Tori accused. Placing her hands on the girls and gripping them before she could pull away.

"Shut up, just fucking stop!" the pale girl leaned into the touch, since her hands were being held hostage and Tori flinched at the sharp tone. "I don't have time for this, Tori. I don't have time to play truth or dare and tell you all my dirty little secrets. They're not for you to know."

"Then why would you let me fuck you? Why would you let me make love to you, and make you feel good if you didn't want me to know? Why would you let me…why would you _beg _for my love if you know you choke on the word?"

"I didn't beg you for _shit_, let me go Tori."

"Fuck that Jade!" Tori snapped, gripping her hands tighter and Jade watched the brown eyes dilate and darken.

"You fucking begged me, you begged me to give it to you, you begged for me to be inside, I gave it to you…I made you feel good. I know it…I knew it when you fell apart on my fingers and tongue that something was different…that we were different, and now I just want answers…don't I deserve that?"

Jade struggled to get out of the girl's firm hold and gritted her teeth, "What about what I deserve, Tori?"

"I know what you deserve Jade, I know what you want and you deserve it. You deserve to feel the way I made you feel last night, every night." Jade could see now, she could see signs of the tough pieces of her cover fading and she knew she needed to move, needed to remove herself before the girl managed to slip the mask completely off of her.

"It's not that fucking easy, Tori let me fucking go," The control was gone now; she could hear the shaking in her voice as she snatched her view from the girl's eyes. From the scrutiny of someone who was stripping the grinds of what was left of her black bitterness away with every passing second.

"Talk to me, let me in and it could be, what happened Jade? And what is it gonna take to make you feel better, to make you feel good again? Huh?"

Jade let images of the past, of things that shouldn't matter, of things that usually buried itself within the mask flash across her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut feeling tears sting her sockets as she choked on a breath.

"Please let me go, Tori…_please_."

Tori sighed at the tone, watched the eyelids of the girl, before softly releasing her grip. Jade closed into herself and Tori watched the stronger form of the usually super-humanly spiteful pale girl retreat.

A silence passed over again and she found herself fighting the salty tears that could and should fall as she reached and tugged for the control back on a situation that was named, she. The situation that was covered with and tucked under something that Tori was somehow managing to pierce through.

The black haired girl swallowed and sucked in more air, "Why, does it mean so much to you?" Jade finally spoke.

"Because you made me feel good, you made me feel different too."

Jade opened now red eyes and glanced at the girl, staring at her with the same meaningful look she had the night before, the brown eyes burning into her with an impenetrable force filled with a deeper much more complicated meaning that she just honestly wasn't prepared to handle. She could feel herself turning into nothing but uncontrolled emotion.

It wasn't good.

"I don't know why it felt that way with you, Tori…I don't even know how I made you feel anything…but it was a mistake."

"How can you say that when your body and your spirit tells you otherwise?" the tanned girl said heatedly, leaning forward and Jade snapped wild eyes at her.

"You have no idea what my body is saying."

"Yes I do Jade, I can tell. We're connected now…you are a part of me," Tori reached and ran a hand up her arm softly, "I am a part of you…and I can tell you don't really think it's a mistake. You just don't want to accept it…you don't want to understand how absolutely amazing it felt to be loved…to feel beautiful. Your body is flushed and your breathing is irregular and you definitely want to feel this way again, I know…Jade, I feel it too."

Her voice had turned husky and Jade closed her eyes tightly as the motion of her arm continued before looking up to glance at her lips as she spoke, watching as she wet them with her words.

"I can't…we can't. We aren't anything."

Tori stared at her, she watched the girl as her heartbeat quickened, watched her mind move through the conversation and watched her as she understood the truth, but blatantly denied it even as her appearance betrayed her.

It pissed her off a little bit.

"You try to be so fucking tough Jade…you try to make people think that you don't feel anything, that you are made of steel or something but I'm not stupid." Tori snatched her hand from the caressing of the girl's arm and leaned over the table staring deep brown eyes at the raven haired girl.

"I know you feel things…you felt everything last night, and you have been feeling before then, you have all kinds of feelings that you just don't want anyone to see, because you don't want anyone to think you're weak."

Jade locked her jaw angrily, her adrenaline picking up and causing her heart rate to speed up.

"You don't know a damn thing about me, Vega…and there isn't anything, there aren't any _feelings _for you to get to know."

Tori bit her lip watching the rise and fall of the girl's chest, "Cut the bull Jade, you weren't thinking about any of this when you showed up on my doorstep last night begging me to fuck you. You practically handed me the ultimate invitation to get to know you…and now I am. You just overestimated how well you could hide everything."

Jade was aware of their closeness and she cut her eyes to the Latina's lips, feeling her body heat all over with arousal at the tone of the girl. It was all one big danger sign. It wasn't meant for her to be this close, for things to get this deep…but she couldn't help how fast it was all happening, she couldn't stop all the fog from wrecking her brain.

"Seems like you've been walking around with your own mask, Tori," Jade said raising her eyebrow, attempting to grab hold of that control for another time that evening. The tanned girl watched her, with eyes of confusion, contempt hidden deep within them.

"You are certainly a little minx in bed, full of desire and want…all for me. So you must have been just dying for this moment, then Tori. You must have been killing yourself with want for me, to have your way with me, am I right?" Jade said and Tori averted her gaze, only to feel the pale girl's hands under the table and despite her inner protests, against her thighs.

"What a naughty girl that has been hiding under all that goodness, a naughty girl who has wanted to put her hands all over me, for how long Tori? Months?" Jade said, running her palm up the smooth space of the girl's uncovered thigh.

Tori looked up at her, "I won't deny anything, Jade. I meant what I said in the sushi bar. You are pretty…you're actually more than that…you're absolutely beautiful."

Jade felt a shiver run down her spine and she closed her eyes at the girl's words. "Stop."

"No…you deserve to be told, you deserve to know how gorgeous you are, how desirable you are. This is how it started isn't it? Me telling you this, it made you feel different, it gave you butterflies and the whole nine yards and you loved it so much that you wanted more…let me give you more Jade, let me understand you, help me understand you. Stop running scared."

"I'm not running scared from anything, Tori…we aren't anything. Whatever happened last night was a mistake, it's over. Just let it go…it's nothing, we're nothing." Jade said, fierce eyes opening and piercing through her gaze.

Tori watched the icy blue eyes, darken to a deep cobalt and she couldn't explain why she did it, she just knew that there was something about the word _nothing._ Something about hearing nothing being thrown out towards her after everything, after giving her everything made her want to prove her wrong.

Jade made a move to get up, but before she could even get her bag, a hand gripped her neck and her lips were captured in a fiery kiss. Plump lips were pressed up against hers and she felt the hand on her neck slip into her hair, squeezing the black strands. She mewled against the girls mouth, feeling the pressure deepen before a tongue peeked at her lips. Teeth scraped against her bottom lip, and she gasped allowed the brown haired girl to slide her tongue inside of her mouth. Jade allowed the Latina the leverage to explore the crevices of her mouth, and move her lips soundly against the black haired girls.

It was that feeling, that same insanely addictive feeling that she felt, as Tori's tongue worked against hers in a duel of sorts, invoking all kinds of shocks of arousal to shoot throughout her body. She gripped the Latina's thighs under the table and moaned as the girl sucked on her tongue as a reaction to the squeeze of her skin.

Moving the hand from her hair to her neck, Tori pulled her deeper, to slide her tongue further into her mouth, and after flicking the tip against the pale girl's, she felt the girl detach her mouth from her own.

With a gasp of air, Jade rested her forehead on Tori's.

After a short moment, the black haired girl pulled away from the embrace and successfully stood from her spot, grabbing her bag and leaving her now cold black coffee on the table to sit, with nothing. No flavor and ultimately no control. It was over, it had gone too far and the air around her was too much.

She had made a mistake.

Tori watched the bitter girl walk, watched her as she left her alone with no answers and only assumptions and bruised lips.

She watched her as she left, dragging all of the control and masks and denial in the English speaking world with her as she went. Everything was stuffy and wrapping around her and she knew that it was all worth it. Despite the protests and despite the runaround, Tori was sure of the fast beating heart in Jade's chest. She was sure of the deep emotion in her eyes and she felt the shiver of adrenaline rush through her body when she exclaimed the blatant honesty behind all of her actions and words.

She looked into her mocha flavored coffee, glancing at the light brown liquid as it swirled cold in her cup, flavored to sweeten the bitter blackness that was brewed at first, much like what her guest had been drinking before she left her there.

"It wasn't nothing…"

It was everything.

**A/N: Tell me what you think!**

**- Mimi**


	4. My Mind Is Blown

_Make Me Feel Good_

**A/N: Love you guy's response to this story, so much that it makes me want to write harder and more efficiently. I am very disappointed because a story that I was working extremely hard on for the glee category was deleted from my account, and that has in a short view of words, fucked my entire process of writing up. But, it's all good. I have other ideas and I need to focus on this puppy right here, which I am shocked at the amount of people who enjoy this story! It's good to know that some of you enjoy my characterization for Jade and Tori; it's more difficult that it looks. **

**This particular chapter gives a more comedic look into the characters, takes some of the intensity of their lives, I mean just for a little bit though, because I love intense things, so I can't give it up just yet. Haha.**

**BTW: This is named after a line from the Karmin song called, "Walking on the Moon". Take my word and check them out, because they are amazing.**

**Disclaimer: Nah, because then there would be lesbians, and nickelodeon just can't handle me and my **_**lesbians**_**.**

My Mind Is Blown

Tori could say that she tried, honestly, to slide out of her house Monday without catching the attention of any of her family members.

Especially her mom.

The early morning came and after throwing her hair up in a good and tight ponytail she practically ran down the stairs hands and arms reaching for the door in a rushed fashion, not really wanting to discuss what happened two nights prior to the moment.

And she was so close; she was standing at the handle, reaching towards the exit…

"Tori Michelle Vega, you had better not step foot out of that door without saying a word to me."

Eyes shut tight, wrinkles on her eyelids as she cursed her just a little too late slow footing. It wasn't as if she wanted to get to school faster, it was more like she didn't want to have the awkward talk with her mom about why she watched her daughter take a girl out to coffee after picking up her panties from the floor.

But fate was not on her side today, nothing had honestly been on her side in the past month, seeing how somehow she now ended up in the crossfire with everything flaming hot and Jade like licking at her. The only thing that all of her memory and knowledge served good to her were images of tongues tangling between other tongues, and lips sucking around buds of flesh, and shocks of pleasure rippling through her body while hearing screams of her name echoing in her ears.

The two syllables of her name falling from a quick tongue wrapped around her ears and sliced through the fogginess of what used to be a clear mind.

_"Fuck Tori…god…" _

"You can't be that eager to go to school, Tori. You've got twenty minutes, why don't you sit so we can talk." Her mother said, putting a hand on her shoulder and she snapped her vision from the door, from the failure of the quick escape she was trying to make.

"Yeah…alright mom."

The situation was so much more than the word awkward could ever describe it. Glancing eyes at the place where you fucked a very willing girl who sparked feelings that both simultaneously made her feel like she was flying and drowning at the same time, while trying not to die of embarrassment at your mother trying to talk to you about it.

It was hard not to cast brown eyes of meaning at the space, the place where the raven haired girl had a leg wrapped firmly around her waist and begged her with every thrust of her fingers to destroy her body in a sexually intimate way, the girl who begged her to fuck her hard and fast.

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck…how are you doing t-this to me…"_

Blinking, the half Latina turned completely to her mother, cheeks flushing red at the fact that her mother very well knew what was going on in her thought process. She had at some point ended up sitting on their couch, and now was somehow catapulted into conversation with her mother who was smirking at her in a dangerous way.

"Listen, baby. I think it's time we had a talk about you being a teenager, and being able to experiment as you please with your body –"

_Oh no._

"Mom, please! I don't want to have this talk with you, especially not today. Actually not ever." Tori said adding the afterthought, throwing her hands out as if to wade off the effects of having a sex talk, with her mom.

She was still trying to get the sounds of the writhing pale girl and the shocked looked of her mom's face as she watched her pick up her panties that following morning, out of her brain. They were clasping around each other and creating a flurry of non-comfortableness within her.

"Tori, sit down. I'm not trying to scare you off; I'm trying to be straight up with you…no pun intended, ha."

Tori groaned, sitting back down. "Mom, seriously?"

"Okay, okay…so we both know I saw you and Jade and I just want you to know that your father and are completely comfortable with the choices you make, we have no problem if you love a girl, Tor. I just want you to be really careful with it."

It was so strange to hear it fall so easily from her mother's lips. As if it was just natural for her to love Jade. As if it seemed completely reasonable for her to be in love with this girl, this enigma of black and darkness that had somehow become the sole catalyst to the white light raging within her with every thought of her. She hadn't even thought of it, it threw her off to even consider it…to consider loving Jade.

She knew it was deep, whatever it was between them. Whatever this gravitational pull that stung with impediment was. But thinking about being emotionally connected by something that was anything that even resembled love seemed, crazy. Because it was easy to assume that there were some deep apathetic emotion swirling within Jade, but it was hard to string it together with love.

Love was hard, and love with Jade would definitely be a well crafted exam that Tori wasn't sure she had studied well enough for. She wasn't even doing a good job with getting through to the girl with an alternative way that wasn't fucking her into oblivion.

Love was out of the question.

"Mom, I don't love anyone…I _don't_ love, Jade…it was…just something that happened."

"Well, there's no denying the fact that it still happened, and if you have the desires…again, with her, I want you to do it somewhere that's not my doorway. It's just not sanitary, and I don't know about you kids these days…but I don't find that romantic."

Tori bit on her nail. "Mom, I don't want to discuss my new sex life with Jade or any girl ever with you. Don't take it personal."

"So Jade's not the only one?"

"Mom, no…I mean, yeah. She's the first girl I have ever done…_that_ with."

She couldn't believe she was even going to this conversation with her mother, next she'd be asking where she got the experience to sleep with a girl.

"And she gave herself to you, knowing you're a virgin?"

_Oh sweet Jesus._

"I'm not a - mom, please."

"Alright, too much. I should have guessed you weren't a virgin. So you must have some serious skills if she didn't even want to wait til you guys got to a bed…"

_"Tori no…please don't stop, please…"_

Tori bit her lip as the sounds of a flashback to Jade's voice pleading for her fingers rang through her and she was met with the vision of her spread for her on her bed, face flushed and hot with want, with need for Tori to take her body to imaginable places.

"Mom, I can't do this…honestly, this is so past my limit of embarrassment."

"I'm sorry, honey…I'm trying to understand you. And let me just say, I hope she isn't one of those desperate girls, Tori. I at least raised you better than to sleep with any loose girl that spreads herself for you."

_"Oh god, Tori! Please, fuck me…"_

Tori crossed her legs and arms simultaneously at the memory renewal of a desperate Jade crying out to no one but the heavens for Tori to do whatever she wanted to her. All of this was the problem.

Because she had absolutely no idea how to deal with these feelings, because Jade wouldn't even throw her a centimeter for her to get to a mile of understanding.

Even after she had brought her to multiple screaming orgasms, and tried her best to acknowledge the immense feeling of emotional connection that were tethering them seamlessly to one another.

"Mom! Okay that's enough."

"I'm trying to be one of those hip mom's Tor."

"Please don't…for the love of god, you're failing at it. May I go to school now?" The brunette said gripping her bag tightly, willing herself to survive whatever was left of the complicated conversation that her mother was practically forcing her to participate in.

Her mother smiled with knowing eyes, seemingly amused at her daughter's discomfort. "Okay, I'm done with the awkwardness, I promise. Listen Tori, I am your mom, I know you and I know you well…I mean, come on I was the one who had to squeeze your big head from my uterus."

This was supposed to be the conversation getting better?

"I know when you're passionate about something…I saw it when you started singing, and going to Hollywood Arts, and now I'm seeing it with this girl, with Jade. It was only a brief interaction that I saw and it wasn't the proudest moment of my life watching my daughter walk downstairs with a girl who had apparently left her underwear on my floor in a haste to get in said daughter's pants, but I recognized the look in your eyes."

"Once you got past 'I'm embarrassed kill me now'?" Tori said, chancing a withered look at the doorway, praying for an opening for an escape from the suffocating inquiry of her mother.

The woman placed a careful hand on the girl's cheek, pulling her face to look at her. "Baby, I understand how much you care about this girl, and she will come around."

How in the hell could her mother have perceived that from watching one silent interaction between the two girls?

"Mom," Tori sighed heavily. "It's not even like that…I don't know what I feel for Jade, I'm not in love with her…I just, it's really all so –"

"Complicated?" The woman said with knowing eyes and Tori glanced at her meaningfully. She understood how random it must be for the woman to be having a talk about lesbian relationships and the sheer complication of understanding another woman's romantic feelings but she couldn't help but want her mother to be there for her that way, despite how uncomfortable she initially felt.

"Yeah…I just can't understand her mom, and she's got these walls, these brick walls blocking me. I just want to figure this…whatever we are, or were…out."

The woman tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear before speaking, "Listen, when I dated your father in high school, he was one of those people who thought the world was his cornucopia. He treated his life as if it was privilege to know him…and for all of the girls he slept with, a privilege to sleep with him."

Tori furrowed her eyebrows, "So he was a cocky manwhore?"

"Pretty much." Tori shook her head, brown eyes widening in earnest surprise at her father's past teenage personality.

"I naturally thought he was the scum of the earth, it was very cliché. I was the bookworm, who no one knew and I thought that all of those jocks, all of the guys like your father were…excuse my French but, shitheads."

"Whoa mom, nice potty mouth." Tori gasped, and the woman rolled her eyes before sighing.

"Yeah well, he was very rude to me, and he called me all these ridiculous names to tease me and well it was just awful."

"So what does this have to do with Jade and I?"

"I'm getting there impatient child, so on a dare one night, I went to a party. I was absolutely out of my element with all of the drinking and the smoking pot and god I was just super out of place. So I snuck off to a room to get myself together, only to find your father sitting on a bed, head in between his hands."

Tori tried to picture the scenario, her bookworm of a mother stumbling upon a distressed form of her once jerkface father at a roaring party in the early eighties.

It sounded like an off brand version of sixteen candles.

"I almost left but he saw me, asked me what I was doing there. I told him that I was looking for some peace and quiet…and apparently he was too. We got to talking, just about random things…and the next thing I knew, he was sobbing his eyes out to me about all these different things going on in his life. So, here I was listening trying to comfort one of the biggest assholes at my school as he cried to me about his life problems."

"He had a lot of issues I'm assuming?" Tori asked and her mother nodded before continuing, "His parents pressured him often and he was just stressed about the normal things teenagers should have stressed about and then some…we talked about it…I told him about the same pressures I was facing, hoping that it would make him feel a little better."

"So what happened?"

"I lost my virginity to him."

Tori's jaw dropped open, "That night?"

"Yup."

The half Latina girl stared in shock at her mother; it was hard to believe that her mom and dad had their first time in a bedroom at a party in the eighties.

"We had sex and the next morning I woke up alone and without him. I didn't have his phone number, because well up until that moment…I hated him. But now I was connected to him, and I knew there was something deeper within him…something that he was hiding a bit of an emotional vibe that we shared. That Monday at school, nothing changed…I was still scum to him, if not worse, and he was still a self proclaimed god. He pretended as if nothing even happened and he treated me worse than before."

Tori looked at her hands now, seeing the resemblance between her relationship with Jade and her mother's story about her parents.

"Wow."

"Yeah, eventually I realized that he was scared, that there were so many things about him, intimacy issues and reasons to not be close to girls and problems involving his parents that made him the jerk he was. But it took forever, because I was too hurt to keep trying…after a while I just gave up, he was hopeless to me."

"So you're saying that there are deeper things to Jade and that's why things are so complicated between us? Mom, I knew that when she tried to run out of the coffee shop yesterday."

"Exactly, but that's not all I'm saying…I'm also saying that pushing her is only going to make her cower away."

"But you don't understand Jade mom…whatever this deeper thing is, it's so much bigger than parents and stress…it's something, something involving insecurity within her. And I keep trying to figure it out, and why it's affecting me…how it made us whatever we are, but I can't do it without answers from her." Tori spilled to her mother, grateful and relieved to have someone to share the internal issues that she had been battling with to.

"So you have to understand how to fight without overwhelming her, you have to figure out how to get through to her without pushing her to the point that she shuts down."

"I feel like there's no other way with Jade, she's so aggressive and she doesn't perceive subtle well. Plus, she's been shut down from the moment she woke up in my bed mom…we start to get intimate and then I try to talk, try to understand what it means and she runs."

The woman smiled at her daughter's distress, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "If she's running then you've just got to be prepared to chase her. Or you could wait for her to come back."

"I am chasing, but it's like I can't catch up to her, or rather I'm struggling to keep up." Tori said glancing at the clock that revealed just how late to school she actually was, and her mother stood with her, patting her shoulder.

"Then maybe you should try to run ahead of her, put one foot in front of hers, and make her catch up to you."

Tori walked to the door, before turning to face her mother. "Did you ever catch up to dad, mom?"

"I stopped running, Tori. I was just lucky enough that your father came back."

Tori thinned her lips out into a line before telling her mother goodbye and leaving the house to make her way to school.

It was hard to think of Jade coming back to anything willingly. So it was a race she was either set up to lose, or that she had to practically kill herself to win. She wasn't sure which option was best for her, but she knew that she needed to figure it out, before someone lost their footing.

* * *

><p>It was definitely hard during their sixth rehearsal to concentrate on being Jade's husband, and saying the ever so troublesome line of loving her, when the icy blue eyes stared back at her distant and cold.<p>

It was like they had walked in a complete circle, from where they were after the sushi bar "date".

It was stupid to think that karaoke and sex and meaningful looks that almost could mean more than what did could affect the ice queen, could change their entire relationship. And Tori was really trying, she was giving her all. She wasn't acting anymore, and she was grateful for the guise of her character so that she could test out the advice her mother had given her that morning, but it was difficult when nothing was reciprocated.

It was the exact thing she had been trying to make her mother understand; things just weren't the same with Jade. The black haired girl was pure trouble, and all Tori wanted beneath her touch and her beauty, was to figure out just what made her that cold, she wanted to know who or what pushed her to be so distant.

Why did she show up on her doorstep? Why did she beg Tori to make her feel good in ways of intimacy that should have been reserved for someone she was surer of?

And more importantly why didn't she want to give her these answers? Why did she insist on entangling the brown haired girl in this game of absolute mayhem? It was madness; it was an absolute flurry of anger and disconnection.

"Tori, that's you're line."

The voice of Sikowits snapped her from her musings and she stared up apologetically at the man for the thousandth time that day.

"Tori that's the fourth line you've missed today, what's going on with you?"

"I'm really sorry, Sikowitz…my heads not just where it needs to be, I guess." The girl said, with a sigh, not looking in her co-stars eyes. The pale girl let out a loud huff and placed stern hands on her hips.

"It's obvious we aren't going to get anywhere today…I'm taking a break, seeing as I'm the only one who is even slightly focused here."

She snapped the biting remark out before trudging off stage and Tori couldn't the fight the hurt from the response. But she knew she needed to get herself together, it was obviously going to be a long rehearsal. The pale girl was all she could think about, and it was the damage from the intimacy level that they had embarked on that was ruining the traces of any type of relationship to blossom.

She just felt exhausted. It felt like she was giving everything to someone who didn't want to give an ounce of anything. And just as she never understood why she was Jade's target of insults, and rage, she didn't understand why she was now being treated like an ugly stepchild of sorts.

It was becoming irritating, and subtle was getting hard.

She hadn't said a word to the girl at all, and things had gone back to normal with more ignorance from Jade to her existence. She just wanted the girl to speak to her, if only for something trivial…because the pain from being treated as if she was transparent was very prominent within her.

She couldn't figure out where it originated from, the prickly feeling of hurt…but it was mind boggling. She just wanted an answer. And nothing the pale girl was giving or doing was good enough in her mind.

So what if she shut down, so what if she ran faster, it was time for things to change.

"Jade, I need to talk to you."

"No you don't."

And here it was, the game again.

She stepped off of the stage, and practically jogged to keep up with the girl who was quickly moving behind the stage to take her so called "break".

"Jade –"

"Listen Vega, unless you've come back here to apologize for being such a terrible actress today, we don't have anything to say to one another." The raven haired girl bit out at her and Tori sighed angrily.

This is how it happened, her remarks…her blatant disregard would get under her skin, make her feel as if she was used, and now in return all she wanted were answers. All she needed was some sort of semblance as to what was going on, and all she got was absolutely nothing. All she got was the metaphorical hand.

It was pissing her off.

"How long are we going to do this Jade? You didn't want to talk at the coffee shop, and we haven't since. This has got to stop, all I want is for things to be normal…and you just keep treating me as if I'm nothing."

"I thought that is normal, you being treated as if you're noting by me…I made it clear at our little meeting that you are nothing to me." She said turning a corner without so much as a glance in the girl's direction.

"Before or after you stuck your tongue down my throat?" Tori challenged and the pale girl skidded to a stop before whipping around to face her.

"Why do we keep coming back to this? What happened between us shouldn't have happened."

Tori reached before the girl could start walking again, and pulled her into a utility closet, backing up against the door to prevent her from leaving.

"Why? That's all I want…I just want to know why. Because you were insistent on it happening that night Jade, over and over again might I add and the next morning. What changed?" Tori said exasperatedly. It seemed as if this conversation had been going in circles for forever, and she was growing tired of it all.

She just wanted some answers; she understood why her mother got tired of running. Blinking at the fiery eyed girl, she grabbed her and pulled her body close to her own, feeling the glowing hot skin press up against her. The black haired girl, at first attempted to pull away from her.

"What happened to that girl that was standing outside of my door, huh? Where is the Jade that had the spark in her eyes, the Jade that opened herself to me?"

Tori let her fingers run over the smoothness of the girl's back, while her other hand cupped her cheek, forcing the icy blue eyes to look at her.

"Where did the real Jade go?"

The blue eyes softened in her gaze, and the glaze of them briefly led Tori to believe that she was crying, that she was starting to feel some sort of emotion that she could relate to, but then again there was nothing.

She felt her body collide harshly with the door, before heavy and rough lips were bruising against her own, hands pressing her own against the wood of the door above her head. She could feel slender fingers gripping her wrists so tight that they would definitely mark, while a slick tongue forced it's way into her mouth, caressing the inner crevices. Dueling with the reluctant tongue of her own.

Tori whimpered into the kiss, attempting to move from the strong grip of the girl, but the pale girl, sunk into her body. Knee sliding between her legs and teeth clamping down on her bottom lip, before sucking it harshly into her mouth.

Tori ripped her mouth away, only for the girl to suck harshly on her neck. She was holding her captive. Her tongue licked at the space, sliding from the tan skin of her throat to the shell of her ear, licking before she whispered harshly.

"You want the real Jade? This is her, Tori. This is me…I'm nothing but a rough heartless bitch."

She pulled her body away from the door, before slamming her back up against it. "I have to have control, I have to be mean…there's nothing loving or welcoming about my touch. This is who I am."

She pressed her knee against Tori's jean clad center, and the girl gasped at the way it rubbed against her wetness. "I'm nothing, and by default you're nothing…this is the only side of me you will ever get to see…and it's real, it's me. You still want to get to know me? You still want to chase after me?"

She pressed into Tori rougher, biting harshly on her neck and the Latina moaned, "You're…you're wrong, Jade…I saw a different –"

"You didn't see shit…that girl, that Jade is gone…and you can't save her, Tori."

She rubbed her knee against her at a pace now, holding Tori's hands above her with one arm and giving her no control over her own body as she reached down to pop open the button of her jeans quickly before dipping two fingers in to slide against her wet sex.

"Fuck, Jade!"

"You don't know shit about me, Tori. And I don't want you to know shit about me…it was never supposed to go this far, you weren't supposed to ask questions. So I'm damn sure not about to answer."

She fucked her fast, ignoring her own throbbing clit, and glowed at the sounds erupting from the girl's lips. Tori threw her head back and gasped at how embarrassingly close she was to her orgasm, and how wrong she knew this all was.

"Jesus fucking Christ…I hate you for this! I'm not supposed to do this…you just make me so mad, Tori. Why can't you just be like everyone else and stay away? Huh? Why? Why do you have to be so fucking…addictive…you'll never understand…this is wrong."

None of her words made sense and Tori couldn't even bring herself to try and piece them together as finger tips rubbed up against a place that was so delicious that she couldn't help but scream out at how amazing it felt.

"Jade, right there…I'm so close…right there."

The girl fucked her harder, faster, and blindly she buried her face in the crook of her neck, letting sensation of being inside of her take over her entire being.

Tori reached, forgetting that her hands were still suspended and cried out as her orgasm suddenly crashed upon her, stars blinding her vision as Jade pressed full lips against her to silence her screams of pleasure.

She released her hands, gripping her face as she worked her tongue inside of her mouth with passion, trying to say something that couldn't be expressed with her quick tongue. She pulled away, before whispering in her ear.

"Save yourself the trouble Tori, stop trying to understand me…stop trying to understand this. You can't make something out of nothing…and I'm nothing."

Her eyes expressed so much, as she stared at her. There was no anger, there was no conviction. Just sad determination, a melancholy truth. And Tori felt her chest tighten at the words, even despite the fast paced beating of her heart.

The girl pressed a slow kiss to her lips, and zipped and buttoned her pants up before stepping out of the embrace and walking out of the closet, leaving Tori inside alone.

Tori sunk to the ground, her knees weak from the jello-like aftermath of her orgasm. Everything was too much…and she was just back where she started.

She didn't want her to catch up with her, as most who run away don't. She had given her directions that should have made everything about her less interesting, less enticing. The pure anger, the pure physical undertone should have turned Tori off and away from her in that moment.

But she couldn't stop the fluttering from her heart, she couldn't shake the emotional ties she was unfortunately being strung with.

Jade told her stay away, gave her direction to leave her alone to be whatever fucked up unknown presence that she was. And it might have been good direction, despite the electricity that was sizzling between them.

But it was a known fact that Tori always had a problem with direction.

**A/N: Okay, things are starting to get deep. If you haven't noticed by now, there are some things emotionally that Jade is cowering from, that she doesn't want Tori to know or have any access to. Let me know what you think!**

**- Mimi**


	5. A Little Deeper

_Make Me Feel Good_

**A/N: Sorry for the wait and the length! If for any reason my story should be deleted, it will be posted at my livejournal. The link is in the profile, kids! Also I didn't really edit this well, so all mistakes are mine.  
><strong>

**BTW: This is named after a line from another Karmin song called, "Hello". Take my word and check them out, because they are amazing.**

**Disclaimer: Nah, because then there would be lesbians, and nickelodeon just can't handle me and my **_**lesbians**_**.**

A Little Deeper 

There was something about driving that calmed the storm that was Jade West.

Driving soothed her in a way that she really couldn't understand. The feeling of the rubber of her tires scratching in a silent way against the street made the constant ache of her temples feel dull, it made her mind slow down, and it gave her an empty cup to fill her thoughts with.

Thoughts that consumed her, thoughts that ranged from A to Z, thoughts that rung with dysfunction from the depths of her heart from issues that she didn't even want to speak of. Issues, that had graduated into problems that now included Beck, along with the sparkling vision of Tori Vega that was just too goddamned good to be true.

There was just too much pain…too much ache.

There was too much information within her, marking and possessing her with bitterness and filling her up with a rage that confused her, that pushed her to be frightened, that fueled the very essence of her that was angry and hopeful and simultaneously afraid.

Ironically, it was this type of drive; it was this desperation for understanding and calmness that led her to the doorway of the Vega home so many nights ago. It was that same yearning…that same want that got her into the shit was trying to climb out of.

So, she didn't want it.

She didn't want the pain of having to pick herself up after yet another failed attempt at feeling good, and so far, it was too good. So that could only mean one thing:

Absolute heartbreak.

These feelings were so wrong, it was wrong of her to break her promise to herself and let herself fall deep into the trap that was Vega and her sunshine, her hope, and her words.

Those words that gave Jade notion that she just _understood_, that she just yearned to be that person to fix her. The words that emptied from full lips that kissed with inexplicable emotion, which fed her the feelings that hadn't even come close to touching her soul in the recent time frame. She was tripping all over herself and her walls made of brick and her guard filled with rough armor, for the touch of the tanned goddess that made her want to be better. The goddess that gave her pure looks that made her want to chance her scorned body, her scorned insides.

She was walking on fire that burned with a future of absolute end. She was setting herself up for something that would only hurt more than the last dose of pain, and even if the feeling was good, even if the erotic sense of awakening that she had suffered from had messed with her judgment for a slight second, she just couldn't…she just couldn't take that step.

It was too fucking hard.

She was too broken, too raw, too fucking damaged and it went far past her smartass remarks, black clothing, and hatred for everything. It was absolutely deep and reckoning and it would scald the beautiful piece of human that Tori Vega was. It would burn the sweet nature of her voice, and the smiling need to be a savior right from her soul.

And despite popular belief, Jade didn't want company to her misery.

She didn't want to scare that wonderful specimen with her salty shit of a life, of a personality.

Because who she used to be? The person that was actually filled with life, with dreams? The person that was open to anything, and less scorned and less bitter and wandering with faith that it would get better and soon she would have something to dedicate her existence to? That person disintegrated with that very hope and faith. That person evaporated when everything else did, when everyone else in her life did.

It was overrated.

All the driving and thinking and sappy emotions, it was all a bunch of crap. It was there for people who over analyzed, people who lived in their feelings, people like Jade.

And she couldn't shake the permanent effect that it had on her.

From the time that things like this first started getting to her, from the moment that she first begin to feel weighed down by the prospects of how shitty life could be, it was all too much. And just as strong as the fucked-up sensations were…it only made sense for the good, for the great, for the emotions that racked her body in the most uprooting way to be just as powerful.

Thus began, the war that was raging between her and her delusional misery and Tori and her unfortunate mistake of getting involved with the mess that she was.

Honestly, that war seemed to reign truly pointless on Jade's part.

With every battle, she fought hard against the girl, against Tori who tried endlessly to be what Jade feared heavier than the childhood horrors that used to plague her nightmares back when she was still sleeping under covers with her mother and father.

And with every step that the Latina took to be the embodiment of those fears, the very essence of the person that Jade just couldn't bring herself to be involved with…it got harder for her to say no, to shut down and turn her back yet again.

Every time it got harder for her to turn away…to tell her that she was full of shit, that they were nothing, that she felt nothing. That she had never felt anything for her and that they were always meant to be…a mistake that shouldn't have ever happened.

She really shouldn't, but she kept trying to hold onto the voice within her that was chirping at her to believe that it was bullshit, the feelings, Tori…the situation. She kept trying to forget how good it was, kept trying to dissuade herself from the memories of fingers and lips and cries of pleasure and tugs at her heart from the sound of the sweet and husky tone of voice calling her name and trying to get her…trying to fight back against her will of absolute denial. She was trying to believe that it was all a sick game…just like the others.

But butterflies and sharp points of truths, and mocha eyes of meaning staring, pleading with her to understand, to let go and just be, made her wonder if it wasn't. Made her wonder if it was just it, if it was all meant to be; if it was meant for her to love, and meant for it to work out.

But that itself…was unfathomable, something working out for her.

It wasn't supposed to be that way, would never be that way.

She would always be this fucked up specimen of absolute pity…of sorrowful, scorned bitterness.

Tori needed to stay far away from her.

And so the black haired body of dysfunction drove. Drove with absolute abandonment of the cup of thoughts now, drove with a new purpose. And tried to stop replaying events of unfortunate nature that made her what she was…that turned her away from everything that Tori was and could be for her.

The girl couldn't understand the meaning of a warning, couldn't get a grip on whatever Jade was trying to convey to her to understand. She had been texting her phone from the moment she had drove home from the rehearsal days before, and it was starting to annoy the resolve of Jade's guard.

She was checking up on her, worried about the well being, wanting to know just what she could do to help. Wondering how far she had to go to figure out why Jade was the way she was. She was being that girl, being what the pale girl _needed_ and it was messing with the raven-haired girl's fight, fucking with her weaponry.

Yet another message chirped onto the screen of her Pearphone, and she slammed her foot on the gas to exert the force of her irritation at the persistence of the girl.

_We need to really talk, Jade._

_Tori_

Jade pulled her eyes from her phone and focused on the blare of the green light, showing her the guide to her direction-less drive.

"We don't need to talk about anything." Jade muttered to herself, cutting a right turn on an otherwise nameless road. Her phone chirped again as if to answer her question, and ignoring the flips in her stomach, she willed herself to keep her eyes on the road and not on the phone at all.

But her will was faltering these days.

_I'm sorry I've been pushing you. But you should know that this is hard for me to understand, too. My feelings are all over the place, I think we should try to understand them together. _

_Tori_

Jade scoffed at that one. She would never understand because she had absolutely no idea what was even going on within the life of the actress. She had absolutely no idea what she went through on a day to day basis, the strength it took to just wake up and go, the strength it took to put on the game face, to walk around with the anxiety that you might just fall over from how strong the pull of feelings felt…how heavy the weight was on your back, everywhere.

She had no fucking clue how fucked up she was.

And it was a classic tale. Damaged and bitter, angry and different, weird and unusual because of a traumatic past. She'd seen the doctors, took the medicines, and _tried_. But it was no fucking use because it was hard to get better when things continued to fucking happen.

And so now, she was just refusing to fucking feel. Refusing to feel, refusing to drag anyone else in the mess of a life that she fucking had. It was just way too hard. And no one got hurt but her in the end.

Tori Vega made her feel good, made her feel things that she thought disappeared from her existence. But she also read danger. Because with good feeling, always came danger.

And she just wasn't feeling up to the adventure this time.

* * *

><p>Tori paced the floors of her room, checking her phone for a reply.<p>

Nothing.

So maybe she was being a little overbearing. Maybe the texts were freaking her out, or serving too much. But she couldn't help it.

She refused to give up, refused to let her run away time after time. The words from their closet escapades ran within the confines of her mind and she couldn't help the way they only fueled her desire for more. For something else.

It was all so much, she _needed_ something else.

Jade was starting to become an addiction for her. And she needed her fix, and more importantly she needed to understand the exact symptoms of the effect; she needed to understand the exact ingredients to the drug. Because an addict always knows what is producing their high.

Tori was pretty sure the girl was the ultimate drug.

It was really messed up to think that way, think about her as a drug. To think about her all the time. To wonder what happened? Who hurt her? Who made her what she was? Who caused her to run?

It gave the Latina a rush of adrenaline. It made her want to chase after her and shake her, it made her want to find these people and hurt them severely. Give them a piece of her mind about destroying something that she _knew _was meant for her before she even had a chance to figure out what it even meant.

But that was bullshit, because she wasn't giving up.

She didn't even know what giving up was. Even if it was all worthless, and it shot to hell and they weren't meant to be anything but something that was…she was going to find out what the fuck, fucked up Jade West. She was going to find out and she was going to rectify the entire situation.

She was pretty sure she wouldn't' be able to handle it. She knew that it would be too much for her…because when wasn't anything about Jade too fucking much for her?

The tanned girl ran a hand through her wavy locks and turned her phone over in her palm again to check her messages.

Nothing.

"Fuck this."

The girl threw a jacket over her shoulders, and grabbed her mom's keys pulling the door open before feeling the metaphorical light bulb rise poetically from her head, halting her movements.

If there was one person, one person that had the slightest idea what was going on with the girl, it was Beck.

Despite the fact that they had had a rough break-up, he had dated her for two years, he had to know something. He had to have a clue.

Tori grinned, texting a quick message before darting out of the door.

* * *

><p>"What are you even asking me, Tor?"<p>

"Tell me what's wrong with her."

It was late, about eleven, and the young chick wiping the tables down in the little coffee barista was giving them the eye. But they ignored her, because Tori was damn near in tears with how desperate she was.

Beck sat, ripped jeans and elegantly fucked up hair raised, along with his eyebrows at the girl sitting across from him. She was leaning over the table with an unknown passionate look crossing her face.

He had been surprised to see the text requesting him to meet up with her within ten minutes of it officially becoming late on a school night. And he had been even more surprised to hear that the topic of the urgent discussion was one Jade West, who he recently broke the heart of.

"What isn't wrong with her…?" He muttered and it sparked a flame of anger within the girl.

"Beck, I'm serious. Something is up; did she tell you anything when you two dated? Anything about her past? About her family?" Tori said, gripping the sides of the table and Beck flashed disinterested eyes away from her to scan the empty shop.

"Nothing Tori…why are you interested? Eh? What's the deal between you two?" He spoke and Tori sat back and sighed, sipping her coffee and trying to wreck her brain for something. He watched her for a while before folding his arms.

"Jade has always been…a bitch. Always been a little messed up in the head. I loved it though…because a soft side came out when we together, something was different about her when she fell in love with me…when we fell in love. It was almost like she was relieved, like she had never felt it before, like she had never felt so…"

"Good." Tori finished staring at him and she bit her lip.

He smiled, as if remembering. "Yeah, good. But it was desperate. Like she had never felt that before. So she was trying to hold onto it. And then once I took notice, that's where the fighting came from. I tried to talk it out first, tried to get her to talk to me more about her past…but she wasn't up for it. Said it wasn't important anymore. So I backed off…but once I brought it up, it stuck. She got colder towards me…moody. It affected me, us. I got distant too, and she got jealous, got suspicious and when I tried to talk to her, again honestly wanting to find out what was really going on with her…she shut down." He continued to watch the space beyond the girl's head as he spoke and Tori furrowed her eyebrows.

"So she wouldn't speak to you about it?"

"It was like she had become someone else. The Jade that was soft didn't exist. She was no longer around. And it was really hard for me, because I just couldn't understand, and she wouldn't talk to me."

Then it started to come together in Tori's brain a little bit. "So you just gave up on her."

"I stopped wasting my time…she didn't want me to try, so I stopped."

"That's bullshit, Beck. How could you just stop trying to understand her?" She said accusingly, understanding that Jade pushed him away, but not understanding with how long they had been together, with how much love he seemed to have for her, how he could just turn away.

How he could turn away like whatever, whoever else caused such a fucking mess in the girl's life.

The guy held up his hands. "She can't be anymore fucked up that we think she is, Tori. She didn't want me to find out. She just got really angry, really paranoid. Accused me of cheating, of looking for a reason to leave her."

"Were you?"

"So what if I was? She pushed me away first. She shut down on me."

Tori flared with anger. "But you gave up, you didn't even try to find out why, Beck. Something is really wrong with her, something that kept her from being happy with you, and is keeping her from being happy with anyone else." Tori said, the 'anyone' blaring at her with neon lights.

The Canadian scoffed. "Maybe so. But I didn't stick around for that investigation. I loved Jade, but it was just too hard."

Tori scoffed back at him, feeling the anger rear red and strong inside of her body. It was seeping through her and maybe it was the guy's blatant disregard for the raven-haired girl that they spoke of. Maybe it was how little he cared of her mental state, of her emotional values. Or maybe Tori was over reacting, but she couldn't sit here and tolerate the obvious load of bull, any longer.

They had all looked at Beck pitifully when they argued, when they had their problems. They had all regarded him the victim…but really he didn't give a shit. He didn't want to put in the effort to be with someone complex, he wanted Jade to change, but he didn't want to understand what made her who she was. He didn't care.

"You're a bastard Beck." Tori said grabbing her keys, having had enough of the waste of insight that this guy obviously had on his ex-girlfriend that apparently he loved, but had no intention of trying to help.

It was blowing her mind. Now she saw, Beck was a _part_ of the fucking problem. And there was something hiding within this girl that was fucking with her self-esteem. There was something that was making her believe that people only wanted to leave her…that people only wanted to give up on her.

And it was because people had. But the question was, how? Why?

Tori went to stand up. And Beck was getting pissed. "What the hell is your problem Tori? Why do you care so much about this, about Jade?"

She put her hand on her hip. "Why didn't you care about her? You dated her for two years, Beck!"

"Hey, I did care about her! She was the one who stopped…she was the one who got all crazy, who started pulling away."

Tori sighed, "And so you left her? Because you thought that would be what she wanted?"

He rolled his eyes. "She obviously didn't want me around; she didn't even try to talk to me! You saw us, all we did was argue. I told you, she didn't want me to understand what was wrong…she didn't want to tell me her fucking problems."

Tori bit her lip. "If you loved her you would have made it your business to find out." And the girl turned to leave, upset at how little the guy knew, upset at his remarks about the girl and the entire situation.

"So what, you love her now? Is that why you're making it your business to find out?"

Tori stopped in her tracks at the words.

_Love._

She turned around and stared at him. He held her gaze for a fraction of a second before he smirked at her. "Don't waste your time of feeling anything for her…it's just going to blow up in your face. It ended up blowing up in mine."

Tori smirked hard right back at him. "You wasted something good because you were too lazy to be a good boyfriend, hell you're too lazy to be a good friend…and help her. You didn't feel anything for her, you didn't even try."

He stood up and placed his hands on the table. "You're going to try harder than me? You think you can do better? Miss Sunshine and Rainbows wants to be there for the damn Queen of Darkness and all her fucked up glory? Fine. Take a shot at her, you have my blessing Tori –"

"I already fucked your ex-girlfriend, Beck and I didn't need your blessing to do it, I just wanted to find out what you did wrong."

He locked his jaw, eyes wide at the words before sucking in a breath angrily, hard eyes staring at her trying to get whatever harsh point he was conveying…across to her.

"You can't fix her, Tori. You said it, something is wrong with her. It was wrong with her before I came along…and she'll never let anyone in. Something will always be wrong, because whatever it is…whatever it was, it's not fixable."

Tori licked her lips, mind replaying the memory of blue eyes, of wet lips calling out her name, begging her for release…for something. And she felt her heart tug; she felt the chills of the memory of holding her, of watching her in the rare moment of peace after the conflicted storm.

"I'm not trying to fix her…I'm just trying to make her feel good again."

**A/N: Not trying to make Beck the bad guy, but the show portrayed their break-up as if Jade was the crazy one. So what if she was? Maybe she had a reason to be, and he was too lazy to try to figure out why.**

**- Mimi**


	6. Break Until I'm Shattered

_Make Me Feel Good_

**A/N: Thanks for the comments and thoughts, love how into this story you guys are, it pushes my drive to the max, you just don't understand! **

**Alright so here's the beginning of the plotline coming up folks, so get ready.**

**Also, I don't plan on drawing this story out too long, ten maybe fifteen chapters at the most, but I love writing it, so hope you guys are enjoying the ride.**

**BTW: This is named after a line from an O.A.R. song entitled, "Shattered".**

**Disclaimer: Nah, because then there would be lesbians, and nickelodeon just can't handle me and my **_**lesbians**_**.**

Break Until I'm Shattered

She didn't go home for days.

She continued to drive, letting her tires crunch over the different forms of concrete, the streets blurring into shades of black, forms of grey.

She let her blue orbs trace over the lights, watch over the different buildings as they flew past her window with the quick speed of the engine. Briefly she thought about the fact that if she had a convertible she could get further lost within the night, she could let her thoughts simmer closer to the dark blue of the sky.

All the windows down, her ears were popping with the wind whistling through them, and her mind was clear aside from the brief memory of lips and touching and everything absolutely dangerous.

In short, she thought about nothing.

She tried to make the little bit that she considered something, nothing. She pushed for it to be invisible, absolutely trivial to what she was sure it actually was. It had potential; it was teetering on the edge of being something important, something that could mean everything.

But she was still on the fence about everything.

Usually when life became everything to her, it got fucked up in some fashion, and she was still watching the scars fade from before. Scars that wouldn't diminish easily, scars that seemed like they would never leave her body, leave her system.

And so she drove to make herself forget, to force herself to get a grip. It was time she stopped playing with fire, it was overdue that she understood that things weren't going to get better anytime soon. Because she was broken in the most tragically sweet way, in a way that seemed to be poetically crafted from the mind of someone who enjoyed torturous emotions.

And not the good kind.

It could have been God, had she been sure that she believed in that portion of life, of higher power and religion. It was hard, considering that nothing in her life rectified his name of service in the slightest.

Although she didn't doubt his existence…she just wasn't exactly sure if he was fond of her particular existence.

Someone once told her that he was controlling everything with skilled hands, all for specific reasons. He had everything in his plan mapped out to drive them all crazy and then reward them for having faith within the storm of his world.

That someone was dead, and so were their words.

Jade felt that way. There were so many things within her that were comatose, so many portions of her persona, and so many different tones of her life…of her mind that were dead. And they died in vain; they lay within the tones of the earth, a metaphorical dirt grave of her sanity.

It was over, who she was, what she lived for. No one cared, no one tried to care and no one ever tried to ask, sympathy didn't exist for her. Life wasn't made with people who cared, and if they did once…they cared for the part of her that had being.

The lifeless form of her now, the part of her that had given up, that had honestly needed someone…something to help her recover from the state she was caught in?

It sat without a hand to hold, and without any arms for embracing.

She had nothing, and she was absolutely sold on the fact that anything that could have been something was honestly destined to fail with her frame of mind. She had nothing to give, she was nothing. The odds of anything working out with that simple fact were slim to none.

But she would never fool anyone into thinking that she needed anything, she would never let anyone in on the fact that she wanted someone to be there, that she had once prayed to some sort of higher power for someone, anyone to help her.

Because she was over it, she was sold on what became the tragic part of her life. She understood that sometimes things just were unobtainable.

Specifically, they were unobtainable for her.

Not made for her.

So if no one was smart enough, if no one loved her enough, if they all decided that she wasn't worthy of anything…she would figure out how to make it on her own, without any of it. And she had lived a lifetime of disappointment and learning to live without people, she had learned how to make it without anyone being there, because no one had ever wanted to be there.

She didn't go home because she didn't want to.

She went to school, she avoided the necessary people, the necessary person whom she tried to convince herself wasn't even relevant to her existence, and then she got in her car and drove around until she grew tired, weary.

And then when she did grow tired and weary? She pulled over and got a cup of black, bitter, coffee and started driving again, much like what she did on a day to day basis.

It was safe to say that she was teetering on a number of hours without rest, her mind floating in an abyss of outer body proportions while operating a motor vehicle. It was like flirting with death, with injury. Almost like riding in the front seat of a car with someone intoxicated.

And maybe she was her own type of intoxicated, driving with a blood count level of a fucked up mind and life that was way over the limit, mind and eyesight blurry and restless with the haze of dysfunction.

Whatever the case, she didn't go home and she glided through the school day as if it was a form of the sky that would swallow her up and coat her in absolute nothingness.

No one asked, no one wondered. She hadn't gone around the people that she called her friends because her casualty would be sitting there, ready to do things that weren't within the realm of world, of her reality.

She didn't have time to wander about, to dance with new things, to find out if it was worth it or not.

She honestly couldn't find the true energy, not spurred by caffeine, to care.

A buzz came from the console of her car, deep within the black leather and she pulled the blue eyes to glance at the screen of her phone.

_Jade, where are you? It's been three days and your dad's looking for you. Go home, now._

_Jessica_

The plump lips grimaced at the words, a scoff passing through them at the sight of the urgent lie that was so false that it reeked even through the blaring of the phone. It should have been a sin for her family to even try to lie to her at this point in her life, everything was understood.

She did whatever she wanted, to deal with whatever sick shit she was suffering from, because no one cared enough to find out and help deal with it.

_Let's not tell lies. He didn't even notice until you showed up today to check on me, dear Aunt of mine. That's the way this works._

_Jade_

Making a sharp left and soaring through a red light, effectively breaking a law, Jade took a swig of her coffee and bit her bottom line of flesh as the response came through.

_Go home right now, or I'll fucking come find you Jade, I'm serious._

_Jessica_

The raven haired girl outright laughed at the tone of the message, hearing her mother's sister's voice turning husky and rude with foul language. She tapped out a response whipping her car to go in the direction that she had intended.

_I'm too old for this shit. In route._

_Jade_

What seemed like seconds later, Jade skidded her sleek sedan to a stop in front of the large house that sat off to the side. The street lights casted a glow on her practically white skin, and she watched the cracks of the pavement as she strode up the driveway, stone cold blue orbs watching the pearl white escalade that sat perfectly parked there.

Reaching for the handle she pushed the door open hard, letting the back swing off of the wall, before kicking it shut with the bottom of her boot.

She didn't let one word pass through her lips; the eerie silence of the house swam around her form and wrapped her up like a transparent blanket of sorts, pushing her to a place of stillness.

She stopped in the kitchen, keys swinging between her fingers, hands placed on the counter top.

She looked around the sheik styled room; steel everything shining even with the darkness of the night blaring seamlessly through the sheer curtains.

This place was foreign.

Not because she hadn't been there in three days, but because her absence had been ongoing for months, years. She had floated around this house, this area of living for a wonder of time, just living…taking care of herself, living here within the misery of her self-depreciation, of her lack of hope that she inherited. Basking in the feeling of nothingness.

This place held nothing for her, meant nothing to her.

It was a place of false pretenses; false people filled with personalities that did nothing to affect her state lived here. This was hell; this was the place that burned with the ache that constantly thrummed within her.

This was the place that had sucked the good straight from her body.

It began one way, a house made to hold something beautiful, a family…and over the years it had disintegrated into this, into this realm of absolute hatred; feelings of regret and guilt and everything that could ever turn worse, anything that could be absolutely terrible singeing the soul of a girl that only had room to grow…but found her growth cut short by pain.

This was the feeling of going home, for Jade West.

Something that should have been incredibly satisfying with every turn, turned into an absolute nightmare with every single moment of standing within the crumbling walls. Every second that she stood in that moment, in that kitchen, staring in the darkness of the room…she felt suffocated by anger, guilt, and an overall feeling of nothingness.

"Where in the hell have you been?"

The lights flickered on, and the pale girl squinted in the brightness. She didn't give herself a chance to answer the tall man that was hovering by the edge of the entryway, staring at her through the same blue eyes that lay within her own sockets.

She walked swiftly past him, out of the kitchen without answering about her whereabouts. She continued to walk, continued to move without an answer, and as she hit the large living room, his voice rang out again.

"Jadelyn –"

"Do_ not_ fucking call me that."

She stopped, her back to his face, teeth gritted harshly against each other, blood pumping within her system.

"Tell me where you've been, right now."

The black haired girl turned to face him, "Why does it matter? You don't fucking live here." She spat before beginning her move of stalking away once more. The man followed, laughing out loud cynically at her obvious anger.

"I am your father Jade, I have custody of you. I may not live here…but no matter how unfortunate it is for your spirit, you are still my daughter."

"Oh why don't you be fucking honest with yourself and save us both some time? Don't you mean unfortunate for your spirit? The whores you date may believe that trash when you sweet talk your way into their panties, but I for one know the truth."

A hand gripped her arm and whirled her around to face him. "Hey! You aren't going to come into my house and talk to me this way!"

She snatched herself from him with such force that she barely caught herself from stumbling backwards from the effect.

"This isn't your house…this has never been your house…this is the hell that you created for me to live in, and that you occasionally grace your presence with!" She spat, turning away from him once more to leave.

He smirked, shaking his head. "You're being over-dramatic, Jade. You know this is why your mother ended up the way she did."

His words halted her, made her body turn cold with a feeling of absolute agony.

"She was overreacting…yearning for attention, and got herself in a fucked up situation. And you? You're obviously going down the same path-"

"Shut your fucking mouth." She said lowly, turning to face him, pale face turning a fiery red with the rage that seeped throughout her system.

"Don't be upset with the truth. Stop blaming me for your problems Jade. I didn't do anything, I didn't ask for this, for you." He said loudly, turning himself away, and heading for the refrigerator to pour himself a drink.

She laughed scathingly, "You're damn right," She said before turning to face him. "You didn't ask for me, you left us…to go fuck around with all of the other little bitches. You left us with nothing but this godforsaken house, and you know damn well that that's how mom ended up the way she was!"

"Cry me a river; you know I saved your life, Jade! Your mother almost got you killed because she couldn't handle a little heartbreak, she couldn't handle the truth." He said, taking a sip of the clear liquid and Jade raised her eyebrows.

"Y-You saved my life? Fuck you! You've never done anything for me; you have never, _ever_ given me a fucking thing in your life! So let's not stand here and try to turn the goddamned tables, let's not try to find the nonexistent goodness in your heart." She stepped towards him, wetness stinging at her eyes.

"Like I said, I think you're headed down the same path as your mother. Disappearing in the middle of the night, and staying away for long periods of time. Maybe we need to talk to your aunt, and invest in getting you some more professional help." He said, calmly and she rolled her eyes.

"To tell me what? That my father abandoned me when I was little because he wanted nothing to do with me and that's why I'm going bat-shit crazy with no self-esteem? No thanks…I already fucking know that!" She laughed and he slammed his drink down, pissed at the angry words that flowed effortlessly from her lips.

"I can't keep doing this with you Jade! I'm trying to help here. I didn't have to come back, you know? I didn't fucking-"

"Want this, I know! You tell me every fucking chance you get, and actually that's few because you're never here!"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Jade I took this house, and I fixed it up for you so that you could have a stable place to live, so that you would have a stable home…"

_Home_.

The dizziness of the word swam around within her head and she found herself losing air, found herself growing absolutely tired with rage, the energy surging to absolute maximum in a matter of seconds.

She sucked in a breath of air, filtering it through her nose, before opening her mouth. "_Home_?_"_ This is supposed to be _home_? Fuck this! This will never be home. Because no matter how much you fix this up, it will still be shit! Let's look at it the way it really is," She brought her hand down and knocked the glass out of his hand, letting the shatter echo in the drums of her ears.

"Jade!"

"This was never a home…you left it, you left us and this place went to shit! And mom went to shit!" She stalked around the large kitchen, knocking over things, watching as appliances and dishes broke against the wooden floor.

"And now you're right…I'm going to shit! This…this fucking circle of dysfunction is shit and I refuse to pretend that it's all okay, because you are not my father, you haven't done a thing for me but ruin my fucking life from the day you found out I even existed!" She kicked a chair over, letting it clang harshly, as it slid across the floor.

"Jade stop -" He said reaching out and she pushed him so hard that he slammed backwards into the refrigerator.

"No!"

She screamed, grabbing glasses that were lying around the counter, smashing them against her fingers, slamming them against the surface of everything she could put her hands on.

"You did this, you ruined us. You ruined her, and you ruined me!"

She snatched the lamp that was lying on a table by a door, and pushed it swiftly from the room, the electric shock from the bulb breaking combined with the glass vase pulling her from the haze she had been caught in. With heavy feet she stepped through the broken glass and headed for the back door.

Her father watched with wide eyes, breathing heavily.

"Jade, are you fucking crazy…what do you think you're doing?" He roared at her, staring at the mess that now surrounded them.

She breathed deeply, before staring up at him with eyes of blue that leaked tears that could have come from the ocean with their salty sting.

"What you've always done…fucking up things I don't give a damn about, and leaving them."

* * *

><p>It was an odd chain of events, the brown haired girl being outside in the middle of the night when she was. But it seemed to be just where she needed to be.<p>

Sitting on the front steps of her house is where Tori was when she watched the sleek black car that belonged to Jade skid to a stop in the front. She stood quickly, as the pale girl literally fell from the car, landing on her knees against the sidewalk.

"Jade!"

The Latina rushed to the end of the sidewalk, where it met the street. She fell to her own knees, leveling herself and looking at the girl, crouched and…sobbing with an actual inch of anguish. Feelings shining through her that she hadn't seen expressed within the girl since the night she came to her front door.

She was disheveled, just…lying there, defeated. As if she would rather be left where she was, burning with a feeling of absolute pain. And Tori had never seen her so hurt.

She looked down, as Jade choked on her airwaves. She noticed the red on the girl's hands, and she turned them over to reveal the heavily bleeding palms.

"Oh my god, Jade…" She said and the pale girl ignored the outburst, lying on the ground still. Refusing to move, it was as if she was physically incapable and Tori found herself wondering if the girl was hurt in any other body part.

Pushing the long strands of brown out of her face, Tori leaned down and scooped up the unsettled girl, hooking her arms around her waist, and holding her as she sagged within her arms.

The sobbing continued, more prominent as the black haired girl didn't even put up a fight. She let her feet drag against the crisp pavement, allowed Tori to practically carry her to the front door of her home, tears dripping wildly off of her face and onto the ground with every step she took.

Tori was stunned into her own silence, mind whirling in a fuzzy swarm of directions as she tried to piece an explanation together. The blood on the raven-haired girl's hands, the lack of speaking, the agonizing tears that she previously assumed were none existent.

All she could really understand as she kicked the door open with her foot, was that somebody had really, really screwed this girl up. Someone had crumbled and broken her down into something practically unfixable, unable to be saved.

Someone had struck her straight in the chest, over and over again with words or actions so painful, that she was reduced to absolutely nothing.

And she was walking around, feeling it. She was taking it out on the world, staying detached, staying away from explanation, from having to tell anyone her feelings. And no one bothered to ask, so they allowed it to get worse, Beck, their friends, no one bothered to care. So here she was…impeccably fragile and stripped of the tough skin that she had been blanketing herself in to keep the repairs away, to keep her away.

It made the Latina sick. It was world altering…even more so than it had been all those days ago when she appeared on her front step, begging for some semblance of good feeling. That was only the beginning; this was something so much stronger than that. This was something that ran deep within her veins, something that was manifesting throughout her and driving her to the brink.

And now Tori found herself wondering, was this it?

Was this Jade's breaking point?

She pulled her all the way up the stairs, the sounds of her quiet whimpering dying down slowly. The tears were now sliding down onto her black shirt as she seemed practically out of her body, allowing someone to carry her, blood covering her hands and mind in an array of emotion.

Tori was wheezing, out of breath with the dead weight of the tragic form that she was carrying, but she didn't stop. She wasn't going to, because her mind was made up.

She wasn't going to be another person, she wasn't going to turn her back and give up. She could very well never find out what was so deeply fucked about the beautiful girl, but she would be damned if she stopped trying.

She'd be just like them…like the people who made her who she was.

Reaching the open door to her room, Tori reached out and pushed it shut quickly. She then softly pulled the girl onto the bed, watching as she just lied there. Sobbing quieting into nothingness and her hands lying on either side of her.

Tori tore her eyes away and rushed to her bathroom, pulling the first aid kit from under her sink and grabbing the bottle of alcohol. She bit her lip and reached out to turn the tap on the tub, letting the hot water fill the basin.

Walking into the room, she noticed that the girl was lying on her side, blue eyes watching the wall, empty.

They were devoid of anything. There was no trace of emotion, no sign of anything. There was nothing but blue space filling the sockets, watching the walls of the room and declaring a sense of defeat.

Tori walked with slow feet over to her, kneeling to be face to face with her and dropping the kit and bottle next to her legs.

"Jade?" She said softly, nervously. The girl never looked at her, never even appeared to realize that her name had been called. She just continued to lay still, bloody hands lying limp against her thighs.

Tori didn't utter another word.

She just reached forward, and grabbed the palms cleaning them with the alcohol one after the other, paying special attention. She even pulled little pieces of glass out of them and briefly she allowed the thought to pass that she would have to take the girl to the hospital.

And once she was done, she bandaged them securely, she checked them over and over again, and then she laid the palms back at the girl's thighs.

Then, she stood and made a decision, quickly before she lost her nerve.

She pulled the fragile girl to a sitting position, careful with her arms and hands and watched her. Her face blank, her eyes unmoving…emotion lost within her.

"I'm going to undress you." The Latina murmured. Practically to herself, she thought, seeing as the girl couldn't hear her, and didn't respond.

So Tori reached and pulled the black shirt and camisole from her body swiftly, leaving the girl in a deep blue bra. Her skin looked flawless against the color and Tori stared at the beautiful girl in awe, briefly knowing how breathless she would have been under different circumstances.

The long black locks fell down her back and Tori leaned over to flip the clasp of the girl's bra open, watching with attentive brown orbs as the straps grew loose on her shoulders…falling from the broad parts with ease, and Tori carefully pulled them from her unmoving body.

It was a different experience, stripping someone of their clothes within situations of this particular sort. Tori was staring, taking in the flat of her stomach and the pink of her nipples atop of her beautifully round breasts…but not in a sexual way.

Tori was taking in the tragic gorgeousness that was Jade, she was accepting how utterly breathtaking she was and how someone, anyone, must have failed to tell her this for her to be this cracked at the edges, this shattered.

Tori licked her lips, and continued her journey, pulling the girl to her feet gently, standing her up and allowing her to sag within her arms as she reached to unzip the girl's skirt, sliding it from her body along with her tights.

It left them stuck at the beginning of her boots and Tori sat her back down to drop to her knees, pulling the shoes from her body. The tights and skirt followed and left her in her underwear.

Staring at the still silent girl, Tori pulled her up. She palmed the tear stained cheeks and stared into the empty eyes, the empty eyes that watched the wall behind her, the empty eyes that watched something that was hidden in the realm of another world.

The Latina, staring deeply into her eyes, reached down with one hand to inch the underwear from her hips…allowing it to slowly fall from the confines of her center, and watching as it dropped to her floor.

Jade stood unmoving, still slightly sagging against her.

So, Tori bent down, and helped her step from the material. It left her completely naked, completely bare to likes of the girl, in more ways than one.

She was suspended in a place that she had been fighting to be in around the girl for days, she was stuck now and all she could do was allow her to just do what she need, all she could do was be there, or wherever she was as Tori tended to her.

The girl huffed a breath, and reached down to scoop her up bridal style.

It was hard, seeing as they weighed similar weights, but she managed to carry her into the bathroom. Just as her bathtub was finishing it's filling, she turned it off and leaned forward to place the girl within the clear tone of the water. She was careful to move her open and bandaged palms to the edges of the bathtub.

Kneeling aside the edge, rising up on her kneecaps, Tori placed her own hands within the water, soaping a cloth and carefully placing it on the pale white skin of the girl.

She looked into her eyes, attempting to place the faraway look that swam within the depths of them. They only sat, unmoving…eyelashes blinking occasionally to prevent the redness from spreading in color. Tori continued to wash, ignoring the breasts and stomach and legs that she had seen before more intimately. Sexually.

Because, this? This was not in any way sexually stimulating. It was everything that it could have been and shockingly tragic the way the girl lay within the glass-metal of the bathtub. She laid unable, maybe unwilling to gather the strength to pick up the pieces.

Essentially, that seemed the outright issue.

She was a broken girl who had lost the ability to get herself together. She had lost the ability to hide from the scrutiny. After all, she had finally become physically weary by sight with trying to be okay or at least attempting to live with the fact that she wasn't and failing upon the efforts.

She was done.

Tori washed her, and watched her expression as it stood still, even with all the suds of soap that dripped over her body.

Someone had ripped and torn her into a single strip of girl. A girl filled with a comatose aura of emotion, an absolutely fucked sense of acceptance and love. She was lost with every step and move and every moment that she continued to live and drown in her scars without trying to get better.

She had gotten tired of trying to be there for herself because no one else cared enough.

And with that, with the sight of the disheveled body white and calm with agony under the hot water, Tori found herself angry…determined.

She began to scrub the soap over her skin a little vigorously. Because unlike Jade, she didn't see someone ruined by whatever plagued her from the time she was a young soul; all she saw were the scars.

All Tori saw was the pain and the cuts and the sores that no one else took time to look for. No one took the time to find the dirt and grime that had gathered with every tear and every ounce of sorrow.

So, the Latina washed, cleaned every single inch of the person she never expected, never wanted to see in a state of defeat.

Someone that she never in her dreams imagined weakened from the lack of care directed towards her. Someone that she always thought and saw as strong and tough, muscled with an ability to take everything.

She decided that she would clean the shit off, remove the pain…try. She was going to sweat and drown trying to rinse the agony from her bones, away from her body. She soaped her legs, washed her feet, and made sure to run the hot water through the long black locks before she honestly felt close to being satisfied.

And she still wasn't satisfied.

Sweat dripped from her forehead, and a few tears escaped her eyelids as she stared at the girl. She wouldn't be satisfied, she wouldn't find herself even close until she was better, until she knew how amazingly beautiful, how deserving of love she was.

She wouldn't be satisfied until that black-haired girl could start serving up the witty responses to her with a twinkle in her eye, and cut up flowers and all other things with scissors again. She wouldn't be satisfied until Jade felt good again.

And so, she herself felt defeated…and angry. She felt absolutely drawn and attached to understanding why this was the way it was. She was going out of her mind to help this girl be more than what her situation had pushed her to become.

Tori dropped the cloth with teary eyes and softly reached for the girl's face, eye's still staring far-off.

The Latina continued to stare, continued to watch. "Who did this to you?" She whispered. The salty drop of water fell from her lid and coated her nose as it slipped passed her nostril onto her top lip.

Jade didn't answer, didn't look at her.

Tori bit her bottom lip, frustration and fret resting in her heart making it ache unpleasantly. Looking away, she stood and bent to pick the soaking wet girl from the water, taking her into the bedroom and drying her with a towel.

She wiped her gently, dried the water, finalizing her attempt of cleansing the girl from the pain that had covered her. Pulling some clothes from her dresser, shorts and a tank, Tori dressed the girl, before tucking her beneath the covers of her bed.

Standing over her body she let more tears fall, let further anguish sink into her system while the girl lay absolutely still, without comment, without emotion. Tori couldn't stop herself from wondering what was happening to her, to them. What was she thinking? What wasn't she thinking? It was all a mystery that was taken up a notch after the night.

The Latina turned towards her door, reaching up to turn off the lights when she heard it.

It was an intake of breath, a harsh sucking sound…followed by a choking sob, and Tori whipped around to see the girl, holding onto the pillow underneath her head and crying with a voice hoarse with sorrow…with heartbreaking pain.

"P-Please…please d-don't be like them…please don't l-leave me…" She stuttered out and Tori placed a hand over her mouth before rushing over to the girl, kneeling onto the bed, before falling into place next to her, pulling her tightly into her embrace.

"I'm not like them, Jade…I'll never be like them, I'll never leave you. I've got you." Tori said with a heavy throat, tears falling in earnest as the girl clutched onto her shoulder with a bandaged hand, filled with nothing…nothing but the empty ache of grief that had been settling within her for years.

"Don't l-leave m-me…please…" She sobbed and Tori kissed the top of her head, shaking her own head before setting it atop of the girl's and rocking her sharply as she tried to understand how this girl, the beautiful human being could have been reduced to something so absolutely desperate.

"I'm not going anywhere Jade, ever…I'll never leave you." Tori said with a trembling voice. She shook as the girl's cries filled her ears, filled her up and she suddenly realized that she didn't need words; she didn't need an explanation to understand how much pain this girl was in.

It was all in her cries, it lived within her tears.

And it was obvious, that she had been holding herself from this. Trying to save herself from this moment of agony, this moment of breaking down for a long time. She was broken and smashed into a million tiny little intricate pieces. Pieces of Jade.

They were pieces that no one wanted to help her pick up, pieces that no one wanted to study and find out just how they made the puzzle that they would make when they were put back together.

Tori was ready to put them back together. She didn't care how long it took, or how much work it was going to be. She didn't care how many walls she'd have to kick down or how many times she had yell, how many people she'd have to go through. She would do absolutely anything to prevent the pain from seeping through this wonderfully molded beauty.

"I'm here; Jade…I'll never leave you."

Nothing would shatter her ever again.

**A/N: Ah…Angst.**

**- Mimi**


End file.
